Tales of A Tiny Texas Girl ...

Alexis: Uh ... Mom?

Me: Yes, Hon?

Alexis: When I get older will I have big .... uh .... big ......uh ....... HAIR?

*giggle*

Me: Let's hope not, Hon. BIG HAIR is a lot of daham trouble!!

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Cowboys Are Following Me

So ... you know about the cowboy ghost that lives in my house, right? No? Then go here if you want to read more about him.

Anyway ... I think he has followed me to our house at the lake.

So, there I was, just lying in my bed watching a re-run of the Deadliest Catch (Time Bandits - WOO HOO - love that show!) snacking on a bag of Twizzlers, and the door to my bedroom, that was slightly ajar, suddenly closes on its own *creek, creek, ... click*. I SWEAR!

The cowboy ghost (I have gotten to where I call him "Cowboy" - it totally works!) has been flirting with me for many years. If he has followed me to the lake, decided he is finally going to start smooching on me ... he'd better use those invisible hands to lock that door!!

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I Am A Magnet For The Re-dic-ulous!!!

Came out of the nail place, bright pink nails shimmering gloriously in the sunshine :)



Guy (scraggly beard, baggy jeans, young, but weather-beaten looking fella) strolls up to me from out of nowhere.



I immediately clasp my car key between my fingers - I will stab him if necessary (ack!)



"Hey doll," he says (tee hee...), "where you goin' so fast?"



Me: *grumpy face - walking briskly in my high heels - *clickety clack, clickety clack*



"Come on, girl. Give me your number." (he grew irritated fast - was probably the CRACK)



Me: SURE thang ... just let me DIG a pen out of my purse!!

I am ... a freaking magnet for the ri-dic-o-lous!!!

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Pa-lease - ACK!

Alexis: Hey, mom, how many laps do you think you could swim across the pool?

Me: Uh ... I could probably get across the pool.

Alexis: Could you swim like ... 30 laps?

Me: *throws head back and laughs so hard she nearly chokes herself to death*

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Dang "S" Key Is Missing!!

So ... I go to Mr. Notebook.

I walk in, prance up to the counter, plunk my clunky, gray Dell laptop down in front of the sales guy, smile real big (lots of teeth), say, "Hi (look at his name tag), uh, Joe." More smiling. "I need to buy an "S", I say.

A quizzical look drapes over Joe's face.

"You know," I wave my hand over the laptop, "For my keyboard. Cat jumped on it - skidded - "S" popped off - gone now- need a new "S".

Joe, who is not yet amused, grins slightly as he pulls my clunky Dell more in his direction. He flips the latch and unfolds the Dell ... his eyes immediately searching the keyboard for this missing "S". Of course ... it does not take Joe long to spy my "Superman" pretend "S".

His eyes slowly drift from the keyboard back up to me - where, when he finds my face, my lips curl up into a stupid grin (no teeth).

Still unamused, he looks at my face for several moments - studying me.

"I needed an "S"," I say, with a slight shrug of my shoulders. "Had a bit of time on my hands yesterday, rain and all ..." I gesture toward the sky.

Joe, who is listening quite intently at me, but still not speaking a word, his eyes begin to slowly drop from my face, down to my American Eagle embossed chest (and boobies), where they linger there for far too long.

I don't know what he was thinking, but I know what I was thinking ... I was thinking ... "YES, Joe ... beyond this pink polka-dotted umbrella I am carrying, beyond this rain-splattered too-big hair, beyond these white soccer-mom shorts and tennis shoes, and ... beneath this American Eagle t-shirt ... there is a leotard with a superhero logo on it - for I am truly a superhero - this is my disguise!!! Just give me the daggone "S" and let me get outta here!"

When Joe's eyes finally wandered back to my face, he quirked a little smile, then he turned, wandered into the back, returned a moment later, carrying in his palm ... my new "S".

I thanked him, turned into the blinding flash of light, waited for the cosmic force to lift me and my Dell off the ground ... and with a woosh of wind - I flew - red cape flapping gracefully behind me - outta there.

Okay, the last part didn't actually happen - but I wish it had happened that way - it would have so been the most perfect exit :)

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Magic Just For Me

So ...

I'm in my back yard ...

I look up and see, making their way through the grass, a mama and daddy duck waddling by with 14 or so adorable, baby ducklingss following close behind.

No ... there is no water within 50 miles of my house.

Made my day ... like magic just for me.

I like to think God just plunked them down in my yard to make me smile ...

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Just About The Time I Get A Big Ol' Smile On My Face ...

Last night, teen daughter stroked my shoulder, down my arm, said, "You've got the softest skin I've ever felt."

She then called others over to stroke me as well.

There was lots of oooohing and awwwwing over the silkiness, the softness.

Then ... teen daughter says, "Maybe it's because you're losing the elasticity in your skin ......"

Well ... chit!!

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