The First Day At BlogHer

I survived the first mixer last night. Well ... the first two mixers. BlogHer put on a very nice cocktail party on the 32nd floor of the hotel - FABULOUS room and view and it was really cool to mix and mingle with so many bloggers. I met Dawn (Because I said So) right off. She's darling and she's TINY! I imagined her taller, but she's little and very nice and funny! I met many other's as well - too many to mention. There was also a second cocktail party called "The People's Party", put on by Motherbumper, One Plus Two, The Bloggers, Oh, The Joys!, Izzy Mom and Velveteen Mind. It was great fun and lots of people showed up to both parties! Far to many to meet and remember their names - that's for sure!

The cocktail parties were a way to start meeting bloggers and exchange cards - it was LOUD and a bit exhausting - trying to make your way around the room (something I'm not all that good at) and meet everyone. It was FUN. I met BOSSY and Kelly (Don Mills Diva) and many others. VERY COOL!

I am at breakfast right now - looking forward to a long day of sessions and I might slip away this afternoon to see some sights - if possible. I have yet to meet OHMommy and am looking for her in the crowds as I type!

Hope you all have a great day.

I WISH YOU ALL WERE HERE WITH ME!!!!!

BTW - There are 1000 conference attendees - Mostly all bloggers, but some are corpoate sponsors and representatives from the media and such! Very cool and lots of people!!

I'm Here - In The "Windy City"!

Yes ... I know - I was going to San Francisco - not Chicago. I think the plane took a wrong turn because ---- it is CHILLY HERE!! And WINDY!!

But ... It is BEAUTIFUL and I am enjoying the cooler weather - seeing as I left San Antonio and it was going to be in the high 90's. But ... IT IS CHILLY HERE!!

I have a fabulous room - I do not deserve this fabulous room at the Westin St. Francis - WOW! We are right in the heart of downtown and it is amazing! I have taken a few pictures out my window at the tall buildings, but I will post them later - quite a view of the street.

I have met JCK (Motherscribe) and just love her to death. We have known each other for a long while and it is so cool being able to finally meet her IRL!

I have met several other bloggers as well and will go on to list them in a later post, as I am supposed to be getting ready for the cocktail parties and I only have 30 minutes to dry my hair and put on make-up! Everyone so far as been wonderful and it is very exciting meeting bloggers like Oh The Joys and Flutter when I have seen them around for so long and have visited their sites many times!

I will update again when I am able.

Hope you all had a wonderful Thursday - see you soon - Kellan

San Francisco ... Here I Come!

I am headed to the BlogHer Conference in San Francisco from Thursday through Sunday.

I am planning on posting everyday I am there - updates on what is going on, who I've met, interesting or funny stories.

I'd love to be able to keep up with all of my readers and blogging friends while I am away, but I don't imagine that will be possible.

I hope you will still check in with me over the next 4 days and I will be back to visiting you all early next week.

Have a great week and weekend - see you when I get back!

PS - I want to thank every single one of my readers and friends that are always so kind to me. I appreciate every visit that you make to my site and the time you take out of your lives to read my silly stories, involve yourselves in mine and my family's lives and for the heartfelt and wonderful comments you leave. I can't tell you how lucky I feel to be associated with so many fabulous women.

Sweet, Sweet Boy

He gathered up his new acoustic guitar and his amplifier and took them into the living room.

It was there that he sat with his guitar teacher - to learn his lessons.

I'd walk by every so often and see him listening diligently and strumming on his strings. He'd look up seriously and ask questions. He'd write on his pad.

He was a good student.

When the lesson was over, he walked to the door to escort his teacher to his car.

I followed.

I stayed back a ways, near the front door, while he walked beside his teacher down the sidewalk.

After his teacher had loaded his own guitar and amplifier into his trunk, he turned to Little Billy and shook his hand, "Good job," he was saying - or something to that affect.

My son shook his head and smiled.

Then ...

Little Billy, sticking his hands in his jeans pockets, looked up at his teacher and said, "When I get my band - are you gonna come and see me?" he spoke so confidently.

His teacher assured him he would.

"You'd better," Little Billy began to walk away. He then looked over his shoulder, "Because I'll mention you - ya know?" he giggled. "You are the one who taught me."

His teacher laughed and then waved at me in the doorway.

I smiled.

I waved back.

I thought ...

This man has little idea of what has just happened.

What this small boy was offering.

But, I did.

I had taught him the lessons and was proud to hear his words.

• Show gratitude for your gifts.
• Give thanks to those that help you.
• Appreciate where you came from.
• Never leave anyone behind.

Good boy!

On the upside ... He has soooo got the most positive attitude and soooo going to make good things happen in his life. I just know it! I just hope that the love and kindness and generosity that he shows now ... follows him all the days of his life.

Somebody Needs To Get That Girl A Day Planner ...

I have mentioned what a planner Alexis is.

She might be a tad obsessive.

She might just be a bit controlling.

She very well could begin writing to-do lists any ... day now.

She is ...

After all ...

Her mother's child.

She might be only 6 years old, but ...

She is a planner!

She says, "How long 'till my Birthday?"

Me - standing in the kitchen, cooking dinner. "It's less than a month away."

"How many days is that?" she is sitting on the bar stool watching me cook.

"I don't know, Hon - 25," I guess this answer.

She is thinking.

She says, "I want to go to Splash Town for my birthday," she smiles big.

I smile.

"Maybe Pump It Up - Yep, I want to go to Pump It Up," she smiles big.

I smile.

"Next year I'll go to Fiesta Texas," she picks up a carrot and sticks it in her mouth and she ... smiles big.

I smile.

"Then ... the next year," she gags on the carrot and spits it out on the counter, "I want to go to Schlitterbaun Water Park," she smiles big.

I smile.

"Could I go to Schlitterbaun?" she waits for me to answer.

"I don't see why not," I continue to cook.

She jumps down from the bar stool and heads off to the living room . I hear her saying, "Okay ... when I get to be 10 - I want to go to Schlitterbaun," she sits down on the couch, "Or ... maybe Sea World ...."

Me ---

I am no longer smiling.

On the upside ... Honestly ... I don't have a CLUE where she wants to go for her birthday! I can't keep up with that girl and her ideas - her plans - her schedule!! I can only imagine when she has something REALLY important to plan - *sigh* - like a WEDDING! I guess it could be worse. She could be begging to be taken to that filthy GERM HOLE with the gigantic happy RAT - Chuck E. Cheeses!

Old Lady With A Baby

It hasn't happened in a long while.


I don't know why, exactly ... but, I have had a reprieve.


I have enjoyed its absence.


I have appreciated the break.


But ...


It did not last.


It was too good to be true.


It was bound to happen again ... eventually.


I was at church recently, sitting with an old friend.


My mother was there.


My friend's sister was there.


My friend's sister's ... beautiful, youthful, twenty-something, daughter - the one with the porcelain complexion, silky, long dark brown hair, pearly white smile, slender, beautiful body, giggly stories - Yes ... she was there, as well.


I sat in a pew next to my dear friend.


My friend's sister and the goddess-like daughter were in the pew right behind us.


My mother sat in the pew behind them.


There was no one else in the chapel and we had gathered to talk.


My friend's niece began to tell a darling story about her little son.


We listened.


We giggled.


We laughed.


"How old is he now?" I asked - remembering this boy when he was only a baby. Remembering the niece when she was just a baby. Realizing at that moment ... that she was STILL ONLY A MERE BABY!


"Oh ..." she smiled so big, "He's 7 years old," she gushed with pride.


"I can't believe that!" I exclaimed - this comment we all say when we hear about a child we haven't seen for long while.


"Yes," she explained, "He's seven now."


I hesitated.


I hem-hawed.


I debated with myself for a moment.


Then, I said ...


"My Alexis is six," the words came out of my mouth at the same time my brain said, 'Keep quiet. Keep it to yourself - you fool - you are OLD - she is a child - she is a goddess-child with a 7 year old son. She will never understand. It will likely blow her mind. She's liable to faint or have spasms or ... GAG'!


But ... I said it.


I did.


And ...


I sat there and waited.


We all waited.


She got this strangled look on her face and then she muttered, "Wwwhat?" with a startled hesitation in her voice.


Had she heard it right?


Could it be possible?


Surly not!


"Yes ... I have Alexis - who is 6. I mention it because your story ..." I keep talking, but I see that she is clearly in shock, "Was so cute and I know how they are - 6 year olds - so cute," I ramble.


Then ...


Once she heard me ...


Really HEARD me ...


This goddess-child ---- the one with the shiny hair, porcelain complexion, pearly white smile, slender, youthful body ---- the one with a child one year older than mine ---- (ME ---- the elderly, aging friend of her Aunt M ---- the one not quite yet in need of a walker or a hearing aid, but ancient, nonetheless) ... she ... opens her eyes real big and ...


She GASPS!


Like people do when they hear or see something ... shocking!


Like people do when they hear or see something ... hideous!


Like people do when they are a struck by ... fear!



That sort of GASP!




The sort of GASP ---- where the person just instinctively SUCKS in a bunch of air - no words - only that G-A-S-P sound.

You know.

YEP!

It. Was. Hysterical!

And ...

It didn't hurt my feelings.

It didn't even surprise me.

It ... made me ...

THROW MY HEAD BACK AND LET OUT A LAUGH SO SPONTANEOUS AND INFECTIOUS - We all began to cackle right there in the chapel in the very front pews.

She, of course, began to try to back-pedal herself out of this moment, but it was too late.

I said, "I know ---- it's just not right," and we laughed some more.

On the upside ... Just about the time I am perfectly happy, strolling along, living in my I'm-too-old-to-haven't-had-any-"Are-you-the-grandma?"-comments-in-a-long-while-so-I-must-be-looking-younger DELUSIONAL world ... A perfectly darling, young goddess-child-with-a-7 year old ... comes along ... and pushes me right back down in my rickety rocking chair and hands me a cup of tea and and afghan to throw across my feeble legs.

HELP - I AM STEPPING WAY OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE!

Three things!


You know I'm going to San Francisco - right?


I am.


To the BlogHer '08 Conference.




That's right!


I am going - Next Thursday!

• I've never been to - well, anywhere - by myself - let alone to a conference where I will be meeting lots of other bloggers. Famous bloggers. Bloggers I admire and worship. Bloggers I have "known", but have never met.

• I don't know what to wear. I always over pack. I do not want to come off gaudy or frumpy or nerdy or ... OLD! While ... I AM OLD - I do not want to come off - OLD! There will be sessions. There will be cocktail parties. There will be leisurely get-togethers in the evenings in my room (HA!).

I'm only going for 4 days - look at all these clothes!
But ... my packing moto is - If it fits in the suitcase, it gets to go with me - so ... it is likely all going!

• I am going to be meeting BLOGGERS!!! I know - I mentioned this - but ... I WILL BE MEETING SO MANY OTHER BLOGGERS!! I will be meeting her and her and her - and many, many others.
  

I am excited about this trip.

I am nervous.

AND ...

I am not equipped, socially, to handle this.

I'm not!

I'm good with people I know and not so good with people I don't know.

Ask my sister.

She's the social butterfly in our family - not me.

Never was!

I am going to do my best.

Use every trick my sister ever taught me.

Talk to people - smile - shake hands - ask lots of questions - offer personal information, blah, blah, blah.

I have little confidence that I will actually pull it off, but ...

I'm going!

I'm going to San Francisco and I have a room to myself (YIPPIE!) - a KING SIZED BED - NO KIDS for 4 days - NO nothin' about kids for 4 days except talking about my blog and hearing about other mommy blogs - NO household chores - NO yard work - NO office work - NO answering the phone in my house because I am the only one that ever does that - NO running kids all over the world to get to games and practices and classes and sleep-overs - NO making meals and washing dishes and clothes - NO making sure the animals are fed and the bathrooms have toilet paper and soap - NO picking up shoes and trash and dirty clothes ... NO PEOPLE AROUND THAT I KNOW!

I am not good with people I don't know.

I know - I said that.

But ... I'm not!

I never say the right thing.

I'm seldom very interesting.

And ... I'm thinking about taking this little stroller like thing to lug all my stuff around.

Seriously.

One of those grocery pull-along carts - OLD WOMEN use - those OLD WOMEN you see waiting at the bus stop - you know.

Yes...... I'm thinking about toting one of those along - to lug all my stuff. Like my laptop, binders, camera, batteries, business cards, purse ... HOW WILL I LUG ALL MY STUFF without one of those OLD LADY grocery cart thingys?

But ... if I do - everyone is surly going to think I am RIDICULOUS! Did you see her - she was pushing one of those OLD LADY grocery cart thingys - she looked RIDICULOUS - that On The Upside chick!

But ... I gotta lug my stuff!

I know I am over thinking this.

I tend to do that.

When I'm nervous - or scared - or out of my element.

Think - think - think - think - think ...

PLUS ... I now have only 6 days ... to LOSE 28 LBS!

*sigh*

Wish me luck!

I'm liable to have lots of stories when I come back or ----- more likely ----- you might very well be reading a few RIDICULOUSLY REVEALING STORIES ABOUT ME on other blogs!

Top THIS!

It's not often that my children are away from each other for long periods of time.


When Little Billy went away to Boy Scout camp - he was away from his family for a week.


Away from his mother.


Away from his father.


Away from his 3 sisters.


For a WHOLE WEEK!


Upon his return - he walked into his house and he smiled when he saw his mother.


He smiled when he saw his father.


He smiled when he saw his 3 sisters.


There were hugs for everyone.


There were smiles and hugs and happiness over the boy child's return to the On The Upside household for ---



Oh ....



Maybe -- 16 minutes.


Then ...


The mood quickly turned sour.


The smiles faded.


The welcome home turned quickly from jubilation to ...


A bit of bickering about this -


And ...


A bit of bickering about that -


It began with ... the boy child informing his family of his adventures at camp -


About the swimming ...


And the hiking ...


And being forced to eat cafeteria style food ...


Over and over and over again.


When the boy's sisters attempted to suggest that their week was also filled with moments of intolerable meals ---


Boring afternoons with nothing to do ---


Dull evenings ---


The boy child had had enough.


The boy - who was a bit stressed from the 7 days of being stuck in the woods with 48 other uniformed-clad Scouts ---


Whose teeth were severely coated in a filmy fuzz ---


Whose hair and clothes stunk of bug spray and camp fire smoke and burnt marshmallows ---


Could not restrain his frustration any longer.


He looked those three sisters sternly in the eye and ...


He SCREAMED ...


"WELL ...


YOU'RE LUCKY YOU WEREN'T ME ---


FORCED TO SIT ON A PICNIC TABLE FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK ---


FOR 7 DAYS STRAIGHT ---


DAY AFTER DAY ---


LEARNIN' ---


EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ---


ABOUT --


FIRST AID!



On the upside ... That shut those three sisters - right up!

How Many Blondes Are Swimming In My Pool?

Alexis comes into my room.

She has a sad look on her face.

She sits on the floor - crosses her legs - crosses her arms - bows her head.

"What's up - what's the matter?" I ask.

"Victoria doesn't want to swim with me," she whines.

"Why not?"

"She just doesn't want to," she throws herself on her back and looks up at the ceiling. "She says ... she wants her hair to stay dark," she offered this odd statement.

I looked down at my sweet girl in her red and white, Betty Boop swimsuit. I said, "What? What do you mean?"

"You know," she looks up at me. "My hair is getting lighter - cuz I've been swimming so much. I WANT my hair to get blonde," she sits up and smiles. "Victoria wants her hair to stay dark."

"Victoria doesn't have dark hair," I say. "She's got blonde hair," I am confused. "Why do you want your hair to turn blonde," I wonder.

She looks at me strangely.

She says ...

"Dad says ...

Blondes are more fun."

On the upside ... I need to have me a talk with this child's daddy. Find out 'zactly what he's been tellin' Alexis. Blondes HAVE more fun or ... blondes ARE more fun! Remind him - once again - just how fun us BRUNETTES CAN BE!

Somebody Just Needs To SHOE-T Me!

There are 6 people in my family.

That means that there are 6 pairs of feet.

That means that there are lots and lots of shoes.

You have seen my shoes:

(I know - I will NEVER wear all of these shoes)

And ... this is where I keep my shoes - in my closet!



The rest of the characters living in my house, however ...

Leave their work boots in the living room ...

Their softball cleats by the garage door ...

Their basketball shoes in the family room ...

Their favorite Vans near the couch ...

Their darling little black and white flats by the front door ...

And ... their stinky Converses on the kitchen table.

On the upside ... I guess I'm lucky to have all these shoes around my house ... because that means I got all these people living here with me and that's a good thing. Every time I see a pair of shoes lying around, I yell for the person that owns them to put them away - I do. But ... when I stop and think about it ... I do not look forward to the day that all these shoes are gone. I do not look forward to living in this house ... without all these characters and their shoes!

He's Lucky To Have Me Around!

Constantly --- Little Billy is asking me questions about his homework.

Constantly --- Little Billy turns to me for advise.

Constantly --- Little Billy depends on me to know the answers to his questions.

Recently, Little Billy was standing at the bottom of the stairs.

He SCREAMS, "What is here-diddy?"

"What?" I yell back.

He SCREAMS again, "What is here-diddy?"

"What?" I yell back.

He SCREAMS loudly, "What is it? What is ... here-diddy?"

"Spell it," I SCREAM back.

"H-E-R-E-D-I-T-Y," he yells out all of the letters.

"Oh."

On the upside ... Sometimes, it's a good thing that I am around - you know? A good thing that kid has me to clear some things up!

One Day ... When I Am Famous

Chloe and Courtney had to take a Speech summer course during the month of June.

One night, Chloe came to my room and explained, "I have to give a speech tomorrow. I have to talk about an invention. I have to come up with something - talk about why it is a good invention - why it should be made - you know?"

She stands next to my bed.

She waits.

She stays quiet.

She wants me ...

TO COME UP WITH THE INVENTION!

So ...

I begin to brain-storm.

My mind starts churning.

A bit of smoke begins to poof out of my ears.

I rattle off ...

"What about lamps with no cords."

She is not impressed.

"At least ... there needs to be cords in different colors - you know - designer lamp cords," I offer. "Cords to match the color of the floor - like wood color, " I giggle, "Or to match the carpet color."

She stays silent.

"How about colored kitty litter?" I am excited. "Like designer kitty litter - in different colors - to match your carpet," I smile real big.

She rolls her eyes.

"Like pink - to match pink carpet," I ramble, "Or blue - or purple - or gray - oh, no ... it already is gray - not gray - like red - like green ..." I can't stop smiling at my brilliant idea.

She sighs. "Who as pink carpet?" she is so negative.

"How about squeezable butter," I suggest.

"What do you mean?" she is curious.

"Like ... they have now for tomato paste." (*daughter gets a question mark above her head*) "They used to put tomato paste in cans - still do, I guess - but, they also have it in tubes now."

"What kind of tubes," she likes this idea.

"Like toothpaste tubes," I explain.

She scrunches up her face.

She walks away.

I say ...

"So what are you going to invent? Which one did you like?"

Not much response.

Then she says, "They all sound stupid - ridiculous," she is in a bad mood - hence the idea that we would let mom do the thinking for this project, but then ... we are absolutely not going to approve of any of the MAGNIFICENT ideas she might come up with.

On the upside ... I don't know what she decided on, but ... I was still yelling invention ideas out of my room and down the hallway, "Yes ... squeezable butter ... in different colors - YES - like pink and blue and purple ...... or Neapolitan - NEAPOLITAN BUTTER IN A TUBE ..." I yell ...... (*door slams shut to daughter's room*)

I am so unappreciated.

Some Things Are For Sure!

Alexis often has a favorite word that she uses over and over. For a while it was the word apparentely.


Lately, it's not just a word, but a phrase - she uses it many times throughout the day.


Her favorite phrase lately is - I'm guessing ...


"I'm guessing ... it's time for lunch," she will say.


We were together recently, out by the pool. We were taking a break and sitting at the table - just talking.


She got to talking about God.


"I believe in God ... and Jesus - both," she says.


"Good - I do too."


"Do you believe in the devil?" she asks.


"Yes, I do," I answer and take a sip of my iced tea.


"Why?" she is curious.


"Because ... it's in the Bible and I just believe there is a God and I also believe there is a devil," I say, looking across the table at my sweet girl.


She gets thoughtful and says," I don't want to believe in the devil."


I say, "God tells us there is a devil," and leave it at that.


She then decides ... okay ... she believes in the devil.


"What about Heaven?" she asks.


"Yes, I believe in Heaven."


She does too.


"Will you go to Heaven?" she wants to know.


"I think I will," I tell her.


She pauses a minute, looks directly into my eyes and then she says, "I'm guessing ... I will go to Heaven too."

On the upside ... I am guessing ... little girl ... you are definitely going to Heaven ... as you have GOT TO BE one of God's favorite little children!

A Polka Dotted Fourth Of July!

Sometimes ... things don't always go like she would like.

Poor Baby!

But, then ...

Things begin to look a little better ...

And ... the happy girl returns just in time ...

To take a little swim before ...

The Fourth Of July boat parade ... begins!

WOO HOO!

It's Independence Day!

Alexis and I were in the car.


She saw a bird in the sky.


She said, "Mama ... is that an eagle?"


I looked out the window.


I said, "No, Hon ... it's not an eagle."


She looked disappointed. She said, "What is it?"


"A hawk, I think."


She folded her arms, rested her chin on her hands and gazed up sweetly at the Texas sky.


She whispered softly ......."I wish I could see an eagle."


"Me too, Honey Bun - me too!"

Happy 4th Of July!

God Bless Our Armed Forces!

God Bless America!