Tuesday, January 22, 2008

D Q Stands For ... You Obviously Don't Know Who You ARE DEALING WITH!

"Mom - You're the most entertaining woman on the face of the earth," my son announced one afternoon after we pulled away from the Dairy Queen restaurant.


This statement said to me - after I had screamed, "GIVE ME THE RANCH DRESSING! GET IT! GO ON - GO GET IT AND GIVE. IT. TO. ME. NOW!" to the very rude DQ employee at the drive-thru window that made the minor mis-calculation of P.R.O.V.O.K.I.N.G me!


Me ... the one in the van that had been driving for an hour and doesn't particularly like this particular DQ myself, but went anyways, because my van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids begged me to.


Me ... the one with the van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids that had already been forced to wait 10 minutes before anyone even took our order at the order menu!


Me ... the one with the van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids that waited another 20 minutes before our order was ready and was given only 3 onion rings - not 8 or 10 - but 3 - in my order, and I just let it go.


Me ... the one with the van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids that was told that the nasty, slow DQ was now out of ketchup packages!


Me ... the one that agreed to take the packets of ranch dressing and honey mustard dressing in the place of ketchup and then was given just 1 pack of each - for a van full of 5 hungry and grumpy kids with lots of french fries and chicken strips!



Me ... the one that asked - very nicely - for 3 more packages of ranch dressing and was told - by a very rude and nasty-uniform-wearin'-girl that stood inside that little window, with her hands on her hips - that I'd have to pay for the additional packages of ranch dressing!


Me ... the one that could not believe her ears!


So ... I, very calmly, took a deep breath, leaned as far out of my window as I could (if I could have climbing through her little window without totally humiliating myself and my kids - I would have), looked the DQ girl right in her face and screamed, as loudly as I could possibly scream ... "GIVE ME THE RANCH DRESSING! GET IT! GO ON - GO GET IT AND GIVE. IT. TO. ME. NOW!"


She shut her mouth.


She lowered her hands from her hips.


She handed me the 3 additional packages of ranch dressing.


I drove away.


On the upside ... In the back seat of my van were 5 shocked children - but they had their DQ food and their replacement con-di-ments! I had my 3 onion rings and a nasty DQ Hunger Buster - that I promptly threw into the trash. And, to my son, all I had to say was ... "I'm so happy to entertain you!"

(My husband - who was in his truck right behind me in the DQ line, called me on my phone and said, "What's up? What happened? What's going on? I could hear you - you know." I explained to him that I had it all under control - they were out of ketchup - I took care of it. I'm pretty sure he also finds me quite entertaining and ... was very glad he was not in the van with us).

(I did tell all the kids, in a very calm voice, "Don't ever yell at anyone like that - ever! You never know what they might do.")

(Note: No offense to anyone who loves DQ, works for DQ, owns a DQ - I am not against DQ - just this particular one).

106 comments:

InTheFastLane said...

Sounds to me like they deserved a good yelling. What kind of fast food establishment is out of Ketchup?

Melanie said...

This was hilarious. I was laughing so hard that my hubby had to see what was so funny.

LunaNik said...

OMG...I am laughing so hard over here!! I can just picture it, you leaning out the window, SCREAMING at the girl in the drive thru...bwahahahahahaha!!! This is gonna make me laugh every time I think about it now. Thanks!

Jennifer said...

Oh, this is so, so funny! I wish I'd been your husband, in the car behind you, hearing bits of it and wondering what was going on. Ha!!

Out of ketchup? Paying for condiments? WTH?

Brittany said...

oh my gosh.... lol I didn't breathe while reading that entire post. What a buncha morons! I would write a letter to the main office or something. CRAZY!

Val Cox said...

oh that's so funny...the things we are forced to do!

Jennifer said...

SO funny! I laughed out loud. Not to pick on DQ, but my favorite thing is when my son wants chocolate milk there, and they tell me they don't have chocolate milk. It begs the inevitable dialog..."You have milk. You have chocolate syrup. Maybe you could, you know, MIX THEM?"

This is my first visit to your blog--love it.

La La said...

Hilarious!

BTW: Got a book for you to read. Head over to see my blog again for a preview of THE SHACK!

When I moved out to Los Angeles, I used to miss DQ, but mostly now I just miss SONIC.

If you ever come out my way, I'll take you and those 5 (wait a minute, I thought you had 4 kids--are they multiplying?) hungry, grumpy kids to In and Out Burger!!!

Dawn said...

I'm laughing pretty hard right now. You are very entertaining. At first, I was a little shocked as I read that you, someone who sounds like such a nice person, yelled at another person like that but as I read farther, I really couldn't blame you, I probably would have done the same.

Melissa said...

I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to do exactly that. Sheesh, it's a pack of ranch dressing for crying out loud....hand some over without the customer having to scream at you.

Tot's Mom said...

Hmmm... what can I say but well done! You did get the additional 3 packets of dressing that you asked for so, your method was obviously very effective! :)

Holly said...

LOL!!! I thought our DQ was the one with the slowest drive-thru! We only go out of desperation when the boys need ice cream cones!

missy said...

Oh Kellan, thank you for letting me know I'm not the only grown woman out there yelling at customer service people! It's been a while since I've done it, but oh yeah, I've been known to put some rude people in their place!!

Good for you. And yes...please call and talk to a manager or better yet a regional manager. You may score a free (albeit gross) meal!

LaskiGal said...

Sometimes you just gotta let it out!!! Good for you . . .

Kami said...

We totally have a DQ exactly like that! The gall of them to ask you to pay for more dressing... I think it's absurd too.

Go Kellan!

Ps I think they are run as franchises so my theory is that some owners are a tad bit chinsey. Just my two cents.

Maria said...

DQ has the SLOWEST drive through EVER. I really do hate it. You can wait in line for 15 minutes with only 1 car in front of you. I don't know how you can even handle going there with 5 kids in the car. What did that cost? About $75? Once we went there just for ice cream and spent $26!

tommie said...

ok, that was funny....and you had a "teachable" moment.

Reminds me of a visit to Taco Bell at 2AM....yes, this was way back when I was young enough to stay up until 2 am.....But they ran out of taco meat! Who runs our of taco meat at Taco Bell?

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

I totally apologize, but I am laughing so hard right now. I can't wait to tell my dh this story, cuz he will laugh and then he will wonder how provoked I would have to be to do that.
Sounds like you were pretty provoked.

Lucille said...

Hee, hee, hee - I love that story! I've been know to...ahem...sound off shall we say a few times myself. (see my post about being banned from Walgreen's on my blog if you have time)

I would love to know when these little packages of ketchup, mayo, caramel, cheese and so on became such commodities? I mean they act like you want a free soda or burger when they hand you the ONE packet of ketchup!

When I have done this my daughter who is 6 asks me "why did you use your FIRM VOICE with that lady?"

Have a great night!

Summer said...

Drive thru restaurants bring out the worst in everyone. I hope to never work a drive thru window again.

R Family of 4 said...

My sweet daughter told me after I had an argument with a DQ employee that DQ must stand for Drama Queen. I wonder where she had heard that before ;-0

Once again you had me laughing my but off. Thanks for the laugh I needed that tonight.

My Goodness said...

A round of applause for Kellan!!

Who hasn't wanted to yell at the fast-food folks??

Everytime I've ever had to explain my order 4 times and it's still wrong...well, they're lucky I didn't jump the counter...cause I was on my way to church!! LOL!!!

Great story!

Mo said...

DQ was my first job. I would never, ever have been rude like that. The DQ was definitely poorly run. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. Their poor customer service, ridiculous wait times, unavailability of products, and underportioning is inexcusable. If you're up to it, a call to the store manager or owner would probably be really helpful to them. The DQ I used to work at got so bad that the owner shut the entire store down for a month, fired all the staff, and started from scratch. The DQ has been great ever since. I bet your DQ could really benefit from that :)

Are You Serious! said...

Oh my!!! You crack me up. I've wanted to have a good holler at some of those nasty ill mannered people who are supposed to have a small amount of politeness, as well!!!

Love it! Thanks for the laugh!

Ann(ie) said...

Standing and clapping girlfriend!!!I almost kicked some rude little tween's booty who was "working" in the Starbucks drive thru yesterday. What can I say. YOu're my hero.

Melek said...

love it! love it! love it!!! good for you for not taking her sh*t...well, not ALL of it anyway :)

i worked at McD's for 2 years as a teen and would NEVER dream of talking to someone like that. especially with 5 kids in the car. sheesh....

Jodi said...

Ok, I am way more offended by the 3onion rings then the out of ketchup. OUTRAGE!

Rachel B said...

Hi, I'm totally lurking off my friends blog (melissa, are you serious) and just had to say HI FIVE! Way to go. I'm sitting here laughing about this story. I have so wanted to do this very thing to some "workers" out there in food land.

:)Rachel

JCK said...

Oh, how I would have loved to be within eavesdropping distance! Good for you, Kellan!

Mom, you are the most entertaining woman on the face of the earth! Hysterical!

bermudabluez said...

Seriously. I will think of you EVERY time I go through a drive-up from now on!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! You are TOO funny, Kellan!!

Family Adventure said...

I still don't really see how Ranch dressing can possibly replace ketchup? But I applaud your decision to stand up for all that is fair and right in this country, and get those extra packages of Ranch! Right.Now.

Heidi :)

PS: I almost loved your postscript and note even more than the actual post!! Your husband is hilarious!

Jill said...

YOU are my hero!

I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to yell at fast food employees, like the time I didn't get a fork for my salad, and the girl tells me that there is one in the sack, and I tell her that I'm looking in the sack and there is NOT a fork, and she says there is because they ALWAYS put them in the sack..................
Salad is not a finger food.

Kathy said...

This was hilarious! Still laughing. I found you tonight from Courtney's blog.

frog ponds rock... said...

Hehehehehe Kellan you are a very entertaining lady..

Cheers kim xxx

DebbieA said...

Kellen...I've just recently found your blog (Hallie) and I laughed so hard at this because I can so relate! Reading the above posts reminded me of the time I had to wait so long at Taco Bell. I had stared at their window pictures so long that when I got to window I told the poor guy that I thought their meat looked like dog food. He couldn't even respond he was so shocked! Yes I did feel bad.

You go girl!
Debbie in NC

Dad said...

Kel, I wish I had been a small critter in your van and watched it all. Dad

kim-d said...

Why, why, why do those purveyors of fast food insist upon turning usually-rational people like us into raving lunatics? Although I will admit that I have asked a Target cashier or three to get the manager for me NOW. Out of ketchup? Yeah, right--she just didn't wanna go in the back and get it. The ranch dressing on chicken strips...mmmmmmm! But fries without ketchup? It's a travesty! :)

Good for you, Kellan. It's not wrong for you to want the minimum level of service.

Beth said...

I feel just as strongly about my condiments! And you should never ever have to pay for extra condiments...EVER!

And when at DQ, stick to the Blizzards...you can never go wrong with one of those!

Jacki said...

This is great. :-) I am so glad to see that I am not the only one that sometimes unleashes frustration on rude fast-food workers. :-)

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I;m still in shock that you actually EAT at DQ - I didnt think anyone did. I thought it was ice cream only!! I mean, I KNOW they serve food, but I just always assumed no one actually ate it!!

Note to self...never have Kellan over without checking to make sure all condiments are topped off!! AND always give her 4+ onion rings!

Hallie

Happy Days said...

Ha ha ha aha!! You are too funny!

Jen said...

I really wish I had been in that van to hear that. There are lots of people who need a good tongue lashing, and I can't hit all of them, you know. Thanks for helping me out.

Cheeky said...

I have my favorite places to go but certain locations of said place are definitely off limits because they are so poorly managed I can't handle it - I think you did the right thing in this situation!

Bia said...

you know, i have found that the DQ drive-thru is always slow . . . i guess because any order that deals with ice-cream has to be made on the spot.

anyway, i agree with your son. you ARE entertaining!

God bless.

Mary Alice said...

This is what I mean, when I say any job worth doing is worth doing well. If this girl is going to work at DQ, her job is making it a positive experience for the customer.

girlymom said...

Oh Kellan- You are entertaining! Probably a good thing you had a seatbelt to restrain you- they are supposed to keep you in your vehicle, job well done! SO why weren't the kids in the car with Hubby? I was jipped by McD's yesterday- c'mon and fill the fries- top it off- I paid enough, now give 'em to me and HOT please.
Thanks for the entertainment...once again!

truth said...

I'm laughing here, mostly because I've had similar situations but never had the courage to yell. But I can't believe a place that sells burgers and fries could possibly run out of ketchup. I would have asked them to pour ketchup into one of their plastic ice cream containers as I doubt they were out of a big container of it that they make the darn things. Then the grumpy kids could have quite the dip fest.

Mango Marie said...

I'm laughing outloud in my office by yourself...probably not a good thing. BUT, thanks for the laugh!

We need a Kellan-cam. How fun would that be?

Courtney said...

Another entertaining story. I would have loved to see you starting to climb out of your window! Hahahahahahaha

OHmommy said...

Your husband heard you?

Heehee.

I think this tops the bra incident. i could picture this like it was a scene from a movie!

Amy said...

oh kellan- i love how you put into words what we all have experienced. thanks for standing up for all of us!!this was funny. i'm surprised they didn.t charge you for the napkins!

Hetha said...

You *are* pretty entertaining Kellan, embrace it, go with it! This reminds me of myself earlier this week. In a large parking lot a car snuck into the spot that I had been patiently waiting for...outright stole it. So I sat and waited for the young man to get out of his car, then rolled down my window and very diplomatically informed him of how rude he was etc. to the point that he got back into the car and moved it so I could have the spot! I don't know what got into me.

kimmy said...

Only 3 onion rings and no kethup? I would have had a problem with that too! Way to go girl!!!!

Kimmy

Sheri said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning. You did what I have always wanted to do. Awesome!

Amy said...

Oh my gosh! HILARIOUS!! I hate DQ, they are only good for Blizzards. Thanks for the laugh!

Mary said...

Oh man this was a good one! It was very entertaining!
When I lived away at college we'd make late runs to mcdonalds and the guys that would work the window would throw packets of anything on hand at us........tons of ketchups, mustards, you name it. They thought it was funny!

Jodi said...

oh this is just to funny. i LOVE it. no ketchup? there is a reason those drive-thru windows are so small....

Kelly said...

Go on with your bad self, sista-friend. I'm laughing so hard. Your blog is helping me get my abs in shape. He-he! Love it!
Peace

Badness Jones said...

Kellan, you kill me! But I know where you're coming from. I still remember my mom (my very sweet, quiet, everyone likes her, mom) telling the girl at DQ to f**k off...must be something about that franchise!

EC said...

LMAO!! Omg, I can so see you doing that, lol... that's hysterical!

On a side note - I had no idea that DQ had onion rings! I guess I learn something new each day :)

Kathryn said...

HAHAHA!!!! That is just what that little snot deserved! Good for you!

multipleblessings said...

Around here the DQs are individually owned. Most of them are OK (I don't like their fries though. We go occasionally because Joe and the kids LOVE the blizzards *lol*)... There is this one though, in Portland, which we HATE. The owner is SUCH a tight wad! She won't even leave napkins out for the public, and will only give you one napkin per person. The last time we went there, we had 4 kids 6 and under... WE NEED MORE THAN 6 NAPKINS!!!!

And when the little ones made a mess, she came out GRUMPILY with a rag DRIPPING in bleach water to clean it up... And ruined Alicia's hat, by getting bleach on it. *rolls eyes*

So... Anyone living in Portland, Oregon... Don't go to the DQ on 136th and Division! *lol*

Julie

Jen said...

I don't think they can tote a firearm to work, so you are probably OK, should the need to scream arise in the future....

pb&j in a bowl said...

Man, oh man, I wish I had been there. DQ worker just didn't know who she was dealing with!

Laurie M. said...

Oh, WOW! I love it! I wish I could have seen this one!

carrie said...

Good customer service is hard to find these days isn't it?

Want to hear something sad though? Our local DQ BURNT DOWN last Friday. To. The. Ground. My kids were joking that the "flame thrower" burgers caught the kitchen on fire . . .

If I'd have known, I would have totally gone and had one last Blizzard. *sigh*

Nicki said...

Oh my word..that was to funny!!! I can just see it all!!

Angie said...

DQ food bites! We hate it. We do, however, love sundaes and blizzards, so we go back. Just for snacks, not lunch, though!
KEEP BELIEVING

joan said...

Okay, Kellan you gave me my first laugh on this cold dreary day here in Ohio. Thank you for that! Do you know I've never been to a DQ, I'm not even sure if we have any around here but I'm sure it would bust my weight watchers diet huh? LOL Hope you are having a good day!

my wonderful men... said...

You are too funny, but it sounds like that behavior was needed.
You go girl!

Patti said...

Whew Kellan sometimes a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!

shay said...

Oh my goodness. Is it wrong that I'm laughing at you and feeling you were justified and feeling justified myself?! lol.

I hate DQ! And I mean that with all the disrespect I can muster (I saw your disclaimer) although I just feel bad for the employees. I actually had one at our local place whisper to me to go to one farther away cuz they gave better cake service. Can you believe that?!

Anyway, love your hubby's reaction! Why do they alway get to drive alone in a big truck while we have the crap van full of kids? Another rant for another day....

Em said...

I nearly wet my self laughing

Queen of My Domain said...

Oh my gosh, you had me cracking up because I have SO been there. It's always a hit or miss thing with DQ. Glad you got your extra ranch though.

Karen said...

I think you handled that way better than I would have on a bad day. Sometimes it just needs to be done.

Nicki said...

I've been there. You get pushed and pushed so far and then--KABOOM! You explode. I bet the girl won't be so stingy with the ranch packets anymore!

Leah said...

I laughed so hard I just snorted, and I DON'T SNORT. EVER. I was just very seriously caught off guard because I was waiting for that to be a joke!!!!!! ROFL!!! My husband tells people stories about me doing things like that, but I swear I've only been TEMPTED. Except that one time at the movie theater when the girl behind me kept yammering on about how "this part is soooooo funny!" "Omigosh, you're gonna LOVE this part" at which point, I turned around very politely pointed that I'd paid to see the movie, not listen to her talk about the movie. Hee hee...

Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do!!! I say WAY TO GO getting those ranch packets!!! LOL You're awesome.

Regina said...

Hummm, Well I think you handled that very well!

bren j. said...

"They were out of ketchup - I took care of it."

That all sounds like a scene from a movie. Brilliant!

Seriously, what is with bad drive-through service lately? Only THREE onion rings? And who runs out of ketchup packets?!? Good grief! I hope you called to complain to the mgr!

TheCynicalOptimist said...

A) I don't know if you will ever read this comment. I have trouble getting through like 4 a day.
B) But your blog made me smile today so it is going on my blogroll
C) Congratulations

PS- I had a "ranch-off" at my BK one day too. It got ugly. Glad to know I'm not the only one willing to stand up for my condiments.

Pam said...

You ARE quite entertaining! I do love DQ, but I hate lousy service. I worked at Arby's growing up (7 years!) so I understand what it is like to be on that side of it...but seriously, can't they just be a bit nicer to you since the service was so slow and lousy??

Stacie said...

omg, I so can't see you yelling at anyone...though that girl TOTALLY deserved it.

I won't look at people crosseyed for fear that in this day in age they will shoot me or something.

LOL

Karen MEG said...

You KILL me, I'm laughing so hard. Nasty DQ girl, won't mess with you again! You go there tough mama (I know it must have been so bad for you to go ballistic like that, she must have been just evil ;)

Lisa said...

I. FEEL. YOUR. PAIN.

(I used to work at DQ and always got in trouble for putting too many french fries in the containers.)

Joanna said...

You should have smacked her on the head like the V8 commercials and told her if she ate her vegetables she wouldn't be stuck slinging fries provoking people with her horrible service.

I would have loved to have seen your hubby's reaction. hehehe

Sorry you were stuck with 5 grumpy kids. I bet they didn't sass you after that! ;)

Toni said...

I don't know how you sat in the line in the first place for that long.

You go, girl!

Bren said...

You, my friend...ROCK! This is why I love your blog!

Jen said...

And for this YOU are my hero!

Leanne said...

OMG that is so funny. I go to Diary Queen a lot I must admit I never get the food, just the ice cream.

I'm also glad to hear that it's okay to yell at those folks. I'm gonna do it one day soon too....

HRH said...

It had to be said!

Wendy said...

So this is how you have to do it! I have been trying to figure it out for years now. I might have to try this...I will definately tell my husband, they always get his order wrong. Love it!

Kari & Kijsa said...

LOL...I used to work at DQ...way...way...way long ago and we had to charge .03 for a package of ketchup!....you go girl!!!

smiles, kari & kijsa

Andrea said...

I love how you "took care of it!"

YOU GO, GIRL!!

ps: you entertain me, too!!

For Love of Home said...

Love it, I too have a love hate with our DQ. I have finally convinced the man that owns it that he should be thanking me for allowing him to stay in business and not the other way around. I have actually mouthed to him in a flat eye stare YOU ARE WELCOME, now what do you say to me?

Cathy said...

Reaction totally warranted. Just TWO hungry, grumpy kids in the backseat would have had me yelling for the condiments!

Amy said...

Thanks so much for letting me know I'm not the only one in the world who has occasional psychobillyfreakouts in public places in front of my kids...LOL...this was hilarious thanks for sharing!

Amy said...

Oh Kellan, the thing that makes that post so enormously funny is you. The super sweet, always considerate blogger that you are, yelling at the obviously brain dead and completely ignorant hoarder of condiments.
I am still laughing.
You have that effect on me.

Heather said...

Hil-a-ri-ous. The fact that your husband could hear you from his truck over his engine and yours cracks me up. My mom used to date a man who told her his favorite food was a DQ hamburger. She broke up with him.

Rachel said...

i am laughing so hard.
I am totally anti DQ. I used to like it before my taste buds matured past 12 :-)
We had a similar experience at a little DQ in a small itty bitty town between here and College Station. ugh.
Thanks for the laughs!!

Pam in Colorado said...

That is soooo funny! I will not tell my son who starts his new job on Feb. 1st at our local DQ. I want him employed!!!!

I can not stop chuckling as I picture you climbing our of your van and into the building through the leetle beety (said with funny accent)sliding window.

E said...

Fantastic.
Mine never has iced tea. They have tea bags, they have water and they have ice. Do the math...love your blog

Angela said...

LOL
Good for you for getting that ranch dressing

Sharon said...

I'm thinking she will think twice next time before she puts her hands on her hips to another customer.

Becky said...

That's like an A&W; being out of Rootbeer! I'd have loved to have been in the car behind yours to witness that, lol!

jewels said...

I am laughing so hard....I can picture this in my mind.

Queen of My Domain said...

There is a reason for that expression of how our children can survive in spite of us. Any mom of more than one child knows that we definetly get more relaxed about things as we have more kids. And by the time I had my fourth, well lets just say that we would probably share the same rating. ;)

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