Tuesday, January 8, 2008

I Can See You

I am in the kitchen standing at the sink, washing the dinner dishes. I yell down to the family room, "Little Billy - it's time to go take a shower."

He answers back, "Okay Mom."

About 15 minutes goes by and I finish my chores in the kitchen, go down to the laundry room to put in a load of laundry and I see my son, sitting in front of the TV, playing the XBox and I say, "Little Billy - I said ... it's time to go get in the shower."

He answers back, "Oh, I forgot," and he drops his XBox controller and races out of the family room to go upstairs.

After about 10 minutes in the laundry room, I finish up and head upstairs to run Alexis a bath. I pass by my son's bedroom, where there I see that he is sitting in the middle of the floor - playing with the Legos he hadn't cleaned up from earlier in the day. I say, "Son - weren't you supposed to go take a shower?"

And he jumps up, says, "Yep, I'm goin'," and heads off towards the bathroom and closes the door.

I run Alexis a bath in the tub in my bathroom, come out of the bathroom and sit on my bed. I am there for only a few seconds - typing something on my laptop - when - out of the corner of my eye - I see in the hallway, just beyond my bedroom door - my son - my darling son - sneaking ... ever so quietly ... out of the bathroom. He leaps across the hallway into the doorway of my daughters' bedroom. Then I watch - slyly - (as he does not know I can see him) - as he stretches one leg around the door frame into the hallway, followed by his whole body that he SUCKS quickly up to the wall (like he's James Bond or something) with his whole body flattened as flat as it will go - head turned sideways, hands flattened out, standing on his tippy-toes (so he will be INVISIBLE, you see). He does all this, I guess, imagining that he is a NINJA and therefore ... I will not see him.

But ... of course, I do.

And so ... although I want to laugh hysterically at his sneaking and these cleverly executed spy techniques - I SCREAM, "BILL ANTHONY," and his flattened figure ceases all movement - becomes like a flattened little stone Ninja-boy, glued against the wall in my hallway - "If you don't get your butt in that shower right this very minute ..." and I see all the muscles in his body relax and he folds away from the wall, a big ol' ridiculous James Bond grin on his face and he laughs.

He leaps back across the hallway, like a little jack-rabbit, into the bathroom once again and closes the door.

On the upside ... Just about the time I want to wring that boy's neck - I want to get up and go grab that kid and put him right in that shower myself ... he sneaks out into the hallway and cleverly and silently flattens his ten-year-old-self smack against the wall and stands very still like a very flat little stone James Bond/Ninja boy ... and all I can do is laugh!

67 comments:

Bren said...

Oh, that'd make me laugh too! Isn't it funny how they think they can get away with stunts like that?

Angela said...

I always think those "wow I'm first" comments are soooo lame and yet that is my first thought his evening when I see there is only one comment so far. So I guess I'm lame. I LOVE this story. It reminds me of my husband as a boy, what my older boy is becoming and my little brothers. Classic little boy. I'm glad you got to catch that moment...what a treasure!

Andrea said...

Never a dull moment in your house, is there?

Brittany said...

ha ha ha. Boys are awesome... awesomely aggravating to the point of loving them SO much.

Julie Pippert said...

Oh I can just picture it, but even better you caught the joy in his personality, the essence of him. Great!

Queen of My Domain said...

Ha ha that sounds just like my nine year old. He can do anything else in the world but take a shower when asked. He'll even go turn the shower on and let it run for twenty minutes just so I think he is in there. But I'm wise to him now. ;)

Maria said...

Oh I love it. I do the same thing. I yell but am laughing inside at them. It's great that you appreciate these things.

Dawn said...

Oh that would be so hard not to bust up laughing in front of him! That little rascal. :)

tommie said...

Great description...I could see him doing all of this!

I wonder if it is a boy thing....my four year old is the same way!

HRH said...

it sounds like he was pretty amused at himself too, so cute.

Melissa said...

Sometimes you have to laugh, because if you kill him there is jail time involved. Hope Lil Billy is squeaky clean!!

Becky said...

Oh man, I've got one of those James Bond/Ninjas in my house, too!

How is a mom supposed to discipline a son that is so stinkin' hilarious? It's hard to be stern when you're on the verge of laughter.

Eileen said...

He sounds like a fun kid! He must be very creative and likes to have "adventures" even when they involve simple things like going to the tub. Such a boy! It is a joy, hearing your talk about him, and enjoying him so!
XOXO

girlymom said...

Does your computer beep, jump, click, ring when someone is on their blog, I swear you are always on top of everything! I can post something and blink and you have commented! Just wondering how in the world you manage.

I give your James Bond credit- he was very persistant! :)

Amy Y said...

Oh, that is HI~larious! I'm not sure how you screamed with a straight face!

Tot's Mom said...

This is funny. I think I'll have the same problem in the not too distant future. Even now, getting my son to take a shower requires quite a few naggings/reminders everytime!

Holly said...

My youngest is a lot like that. I love the whole, "I forgot" thing. It cracks me up.

Summer said...

Oh yes. It is SO hard not to laugh at little boy spy moves. Mine are always trying to pull moves like that and it cracks me up.

bermudabluez said...

Kellan! This is hilarious....but please explain to me...what is it with boys and showers????? I only have one child...a girl. So, I do not understant the boy behavior. When my husband's grandson came to stay for a week...I think he would have cut off his arm rather than take a shower?? What is it about that??? I thought it was just weird. My daughter never did that!

Queeny said...

I have to run a bath for both my little ones at the same time (one in their bathroom, one in mine) or they will argue over who has to bathe first. Now they argue over where.

Beth said...

Isn't it great that they can crack us up? It certainly keeps us from wanting to smack 'em upside the head!

You have such a great sense of humor too! I would have been screaming my head off. I usually have ZERO patience by bathtime.

Toni said...

My little brother (also Billy) wouldn't really shower. He would get his head wet, turn on the shower and play on the floor for a few minutes. We started taking turns checking on him and throwing him in the shower. Boys!

Mary said...

I love watching my nephews when they are being sneaky and don't know I'm watching. I busted one of them a few months ago and it was so funny!

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

My 14 year old does this ALL THE TIME - he had ADD and get's so easily distracted...

I threaten to shower him MYSELF if he doesnt get moving! (nothing like a mom telling her teenager that she MIGHT see him nekkid to motivate him!)

Hallie

Lisa said...

ROFL! Thanks for giving me a peek into the world of BOY. :o)

Amanda said...

HAHA! Ninja Boy! He sounds cute.

kimmy said...

I have to remind my 8 year old son all the time to take a shower, brush his teeth, do his homework, etc. He always claims to have forgotten too!

Kimmy

Kathryn said...

Hehehe. What a cutie. How funny is he? I love the little Ninja act he puts on. Too funny!

The Stevens Family said...

I could picture that because my 7 year old nephew does this kinda stuff all the time. I love the grin they get after you bust them and they go off to do whatever it is they were supposed to be doing in the first place!

kim-d said...

There is nothing better than a 10-year-old boy working on perfecting his Silent Ninja skills. And that grin that they give you upon being busted? Awwww...sweet dreams are made of that! And I love that he's probably still at the age where he thinks the only reason you caught him is because of all the extra eyes you have...hehehe! I just LOVE your family, Kellen--what a fun bunch you all are!

Nicki said...

How funny. Your kids are always making me laugh with the stories you tell. Yeah, how could you be mad after you catch him doing something like that? Impossible.

Cheeky said...

I love it when kids "think" they are being sneaky - so funny

Melanie said...

Oh my goodness- that was hilarious!

Livin' With Me

LunaNik said...

i give you so much credit for not laughing out loud, i don't think i could do it. flat little stone ninja boy...adorable!!

Kami said...

I would have laughed, I have no self control!

I can't wait for that stage where bathing becomes unnecessary. Seems to be a boy thing!

:-)

One Scrappy Gal said...

Did he finally take his shower? :)

My daughter is the worst hider during hide and go seek. She'll stand behind the halogen lamp and you can SEE her but we have to pretend she's the best hider ever. :)

Patti said...

That kid is a card LOL

Lizzy in the Burbs said...

Was he trying to sneek up on you or on his sisters? (or was this just practice for when he's a secret agent someday?) :)
I swear, boys will do anything to get out of taking a shower! I keep hoping the "wanting to smell good for girls" thing will kick in at some point with my 17 yr. old, but I still have to say "Did you remember to take a shower?". It never ends!

wheelsonthebus said...

I guess the days when I can pick them up and put them in the bath myself are numbered...

multipleblessings said...

Billy sounds very amusing. *lol* ... It's times like those that you need a video camera. :D

After reading your post and all the comments, I know think there is something wrong with my boys (ages 8 and 10), because they LIKE to take a shower and sometimes even ask for an extra one. *rofl*

Julie

Heather said...

Why don't kids realize that in the time they spend trying to get out of doing something, they could have been finished with what they were trying to get out of doing?

Leah said...

oh, that's funny!! They think they're so darn clever sometimes. And they're right!!

Joanna said...

And yet you still keep your sanity!

Victoria said...

Your description is just perfect. I'm glad you eventually raised your voice. I was reading it and was like "I would have yelled at my kid by now!" LOL! =)

Mo said...

The James Bond/Ninja comparison is so funny! The girls aren't nearly that good at sneaking around :)

Jodi said...

the best thing about being a mom -- you get these great moments every day. and they just get better and better.

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

I love your Billy stories, he sounds like such a cutie and so very boy. I feel your pain though, we have the same issues. ugh.

Karen said...

You have the best sense of humor in these ever frustrating parenting episodes. What is it with kids not wanting to bath? And then not wanting to get out?

The Stevens Family said...

I tagged you.

Steph said...

Very Cute! Ah the things I have to look forward to when my kids get older!

Thanks and I love your blog

#1 Dad said...
This post has been removed by the author.
Nap Warden said...

Is The Little Man going to turn into a ninja boy?:)

Jen said...

So funny! All I could hear in my head as I read this was the James Bond theme song. Too bad you didn't get that on video so we could have all laughed it up. This was good, too, though.

Susan said...

O.K this is not just a boy thing I think it is the age. My 11 year old daughter fights me everytime I tell her to take a shower.

Her excuse is that it is a waste of time.

I someday hope to have a little boy doing that down my hallway.

Jennifer said...

I can just picture it. Hee.

Rachel said...

So cute. Love your family stories!
We're still at the: "If I cover MY eyes, YOU can't see me"
Yep.

Pam said...

Oh, that funny! They sure keep you on your toes...and you always see the humor in it!

joan said...

Little boys are so much fun in a different way than little girls but what a fun story Kellan. I can tell you meant business when you called him by his first and middle name.

Angie said...

So All James Bond needed around to get caught was an informed Mom? All his cars, gadgets and beautiful ladies wouldn't get him past us!
KEEP BELIEVING

Aliki2006 said...

Sometimes it's all we can do as parents to stifle the laughter, isn't it?!

jennwa said...

What is it about boys that you have to tell them things 100 times before they do it? But sometimes all you can do is laugh. The ninja thing sounds very cute and funny.

Angela said...

You know it is hard not to smile when they do something that they shouldn't but it is cute. That is a smile you wear when they are not looking.

baby~amore' said...

so funny and cute - your write it so well. My son did this too ... now we can't get him out of the shower-when he gets in.

Wendy said...

Boys...so easily distracted and amused...especially by themselves! Love this story!

La La said...

I still think that if I wear my sun glasses while driving my car that if anyone sees me they won't know it's me!!! Still.

frog ponds rock... said...

hehehehe what is it with boys and the shower...? I have to nag and nag to get my teenage son into the shower... then when he finally is in the shower... I can't get him out of it. *sigh*

cheers Kim

Jen said...

Isn't it always so funny when they are trying to be all "stealth" and sneaky? Ha. Watching my son sneak cookings onto neighbors porches at Halloween was a riot. He took so much trouble to sneak up to the house that it was outright comical, not to mention obvious.

It's a battle to get kids to clean themselves around here too.

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