Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Sing Me A Song Or Get Out Of My Kitchen

I am walking through the kitchen towards the trash can.

I notice - sitting perfectly still - on the edge of the counter - near the pantry - a BUG!

I yell across the kitchen, "Little Billy - come get this bug."

He walks across the tile floor to where I am standing. He looks around and says, "Where - what bug?"

I point to the counter, "There - see it? Get it!"

He keeps his hands at his side, bends at the waist, cocks his head sideways, puts his face really close to the tiny creature and says, "What makes you think I want to get it?"

I step back a few steps - fearing the bug is going to lunge or flitter off the counter in my direction and say, "Because that's what boys do - they get the bugs."

He looks up at me strangely, wrinkles his nose and says, "That's what boys do?"

I say, "Yes. Now, get the bug! And be careful - it's a stink bug. Don't let it stink on you." I step forward close enough to push him towards the bug.

He jumps back and says, "It sings? What do you mean ... it sings?"

I walk over near the sink, retrieve a paper towel, walk back and hand it to him and say, "I said STINK - STINK. Now - GET THE BUG!"



On the upside ...This bug - this stink bug - just sitting on the edge of my kitchen counter - watching and listening to our conversation and not twitching even so much as an eyelash - suddenly ... stands up on his hind legs, puts his little hands on his hips, opens up his tiny little bug mouth and begins to sing ....... "A ---- Weem A Way ... A - Weem A Way ... A - Weem A Way ... A - Weem A Way ... A - Weem A Way ... A - Weem A Way ... A - Weem A Way ... A - Weem A Way ......... In the jungle ... the mighty jungle ... the lion sleeps tonight," and Little Billy and I both look in the bug's direction in total astonishment. We glance back quickly into each others shocked faces while the bug continues, with his little arms now stretched high in the air above his stinky little head, in a very high pitched bug-like voice, "In the jungle ... the quiet jungle ... the lion sleeps tonight," and he is really belting out the song now, and has thrown in a few fancy Broadway-stage dance moves to enhance his very entertaining night-club performance. Then ... the bug stops singing ... points his tiny little finger at Little Billy, throws back his head ... and laughs - HA HA HA!

Okay - So what really happened was ... I grabbed the paper towel from my brave little man's hand, squashed the "singing" bug inside of it and threw it into the trash.

(I really wish it had happened the other way ... that would have been a story Little Billy would have never forgotten).

75 comments:

MamaGeek said...

Oh that's perfect. You just KNOW he's going to repeat that to someone right? :)

Melek said...

ewww! i HATE stink bugs. they're not only creepy looking, but i just know the minute i get near them they're gonna emit their stink on me.
count yourself lucky that you found a singing one instead :)

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

What a great story! I am going to believe that he really did sing and that you took him on tour until he ran away with a racy lady bug. Yup, that's what I'm going to believe.

tommie said...

very cute! I am so ready to open the windows, but it just makes me wonder what little bugs will come in!

Melanie said...

I really hate those stink bugs.

Cute story.

Melissa said...

Am I the only one that doesn't know what a stink bug is? I'm off to look them up...I wonder if I'll find one that sings Elvis....I'm a hunka hunka burning bug...

Marie said...

Bugs...I hate bugs. BUT, a singing bug? Well, I just hope you caught it on video!

TheCynicalOptimist said...

Amy can totally hook you up with a bug vac! THen you can avoid such insect induced harmony!

Amy said...

eeewww! I hate bugs and I especially hate the crunchy noise they make when you squish them...but I agree...that is what boys do...get bugs

Dawn said...

That's right...that's what boys do. They get the bugs! Cute story.

Brittany said...

I wish bugs sang.... That would make them more tolerable!

pb&j in a bowl said...

Cute story. I can't stand stink bugs. My mom said that when I was 2 I ate one, and kept burping fup the stink. Gross, huh?

Angela said...

Hopefully next time he will get the bug

Val Cox said...

oh gosh, I didn't see that coming, hilarious! Val

utmomof5 said...

I like the singing version better!! Thanks for the good giggle, I could just see that bug belting out the song.

BTW Now that song will be stuck in my head =)

Christina

justabeachkat said...

Oh Girl...you have me in stitches! Too cute!

Hugs!
Kat

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

A weem a way, hee hee hee! Poor Little Billy, I bet, for about 30 seconds he wished he was a girl.

LaskiGal said...

Ewwww . . . stink bug! Poor boys---they always get the fun jobs!

nicki said...

Wait, so I have three boys and you're telling me that they may not do things like get the bugs? Unbelievable. What are they around for anyway?

I don't know what a stink bug is either...you may have to enlighten us!

Janice said...

I hate bugs, i hate spiders, and I too, call the man of the house and have him come GET the bug, cause i too think that that is what guys are suppsoe to do. i just have to say that you are so amazing, you can make every situation so entertaining. Not me I struggle with every post.

Kellan said...

Okay - maybe a stink bug is only common to the south or to Texas, but it is this triangular shaped bug, a little smaller than a dime, usually green (that's all I've ever seen) and when you touch them or squash them they leave this awful "stink" on you - it is awful - hence the name "stink bug". They are sort of beetle looking, but like I said, triangular shaped. We see lots of them in Texas.

Are You Serious! said...

♥ Cute story and that would have great if it would have sung! Although I might have felt bad about killing a singing bug at least for a couple of moments! ;)

bermudabluez said...

hahahahaha! This was great Kellan...and YES...that's what boys do!!

kim-d said...

Okay, I got the visual of the singing bug, belting it out in all his stinky glory...which lead to another visual. A LONG-AGO visual of the California Raisin commercial. Remember the singing California Raisins..."I heard it through the grapevine"??? All day long now, my addled brain is going to be switching between "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" and "I Heard it Through the Grapevine." Thanks, Kellan! HAHAHAHA. :)

And, yes, boys DO get the bugs. My boy kitty always helps me "get the fly" when one sneaks in the house in the (two days of) summer!

Tot's Mom said...

Yay, one less stink bug around. When you next see another, get Billy again. Perhaps it will be a different ending then!

JO-N said...

Is that what all boys do? Not my boys. They don't even dare to scoop up a dead bug with a tissue paper. My little girl is the one who does the job.

Toni said...

You know you're the mom who is just a little off amongst the friends, right?

Don't get me wrong, I am too.

Pam said...

Oh I yell for my hubby when I see a bug. If he isn't home I have to get it. But I am hoping that Riley will fill in as the great bug hunter when he is older.

Cheeky said...

Oh that reminded me of the frog from the warner brothers cartoon that sings opera!

Normally I would know his name but I am tired from nursing sick teenage drama queen

Jen said...

HA! Is that true - do stink bugs really stink? I wouldn't know one to see one.

Meg said...

Too funny! I HATE stink bugs! Eeeeeeew!!!

EC said...

LOL - Loved the story as usual :)

I honestly don't know if I have seen a stink bug or what they actually smell like. I think I'll have to google it!

One Scrappy Gal said...

Stink bugs? I thought they were a myth!! *shudder*

Katrina said...

I'd like to see a singing bug! What entertainment!

One Scrappy Chicklet said...

Love it!!!!!!!! I need a singing bug this morning. Thanks for the laugh.

Have a great day
Tami

Badness Jones said...

I'm afraid of bugs too....last spring there was a huge HUGE beetle in our bedroom and HUBS wasn't home. This bug was SO big that I'm sure it came home from Trinidad in Hubs suitcase....I know we don't have bugs that big in Canada. I was terrified, but I stood on the bed and dropped books from the bedside table on it until I was sure it was dead. Then I ran screaming from the room and made Hubs clean up the mess when he got home. I made him throw out the book that had done the job. I'm glad you survived the bug invasion!

....and you wonder why he thinks I'm a big wussy....

Kelly said...

I stumbled across your blog awhile back and I just love it! This post made me laugh. Last time I asked one of my boys to kill a bug he tells me that he learned in school that you should never kill one of God's creatures. So I had to take matters in my own hands.

I also loved your post about Billy the other day. What a special boy he sounds like...it brought tears to my eyes!!

Nicki said...

Girl, you are to funny! I loved this one!!

Maria said...

I always say the same thing to my son. I tell him to get the bug and he askes why he has to get it and I tell him it's because he's the man of the house now, and he needs to take care of us!

Courtney said...

Love it! Glad you got a singing bug to provide you a little entertainment.

Amy said...

i love this story and this song. last week john went away for a few days, and i got thinking.

i am such a scaredy cat, and i just can't wait (well i can because i don't want them to grow older) to be comforted by the feeling that if i have to be alone at night, my little guys could really take care of ME and scare off the boogy man!

until then... i'll sleep with the lights on, covers over my head, cordless phone in hand, etc. etc.

Andrea said...

Oh, I'm HOWLING...you are too funny!

Patti said...

Bwaaa Haaaa Haaaaa that is HILARIOUS Kellan! I wish it had happened that way too. Priceless.

Kathryn said...

Yes, but what would you do with a singing bug? You can't very well kill a bug that sings. And then you would have to have a pet bug. Yuck.
;)

Joanna said...

Michigan has stink bugs and they are gross! And that stank - ick.

But I love your story! I'm chuckling cuz I can picture it.

jennifer h said...

You're a funny woman. I hate stink bugs, too. I remember weeding the potatoes in the garden, and they would cling to the underside of the leaves. Eww.

There is no such "boys get the bugs" mandate in my house. I'd be waiting forever.

Hillary said...

yuck! i hate bugs.

Kami said...

HA! If bugs actually sang they might be more well liked.... or maybe not. How annoying would the Lion sleeps tonight be in the middle of the night when a creepy crawler was hiding under you bed.

Squish it quick! Before it wakes the kids!

Tee hee. Thanks for the laugh Kellan, always a treat to visit you!

Family Adventure said...

You are too funny, Kellan :)

Have a lovely day!

Heidi

Karen said...

Bwahahaha! I love it! Singing bugs are great. Too bad Little Billy was not more enamored with saving damsels in distress.

TheVasquez3 said...

you are hilarious!

and...

i left a little bloggy love for you over on my blog. You. Are. Welcome.

Lizzy in the Burbs said...

What a cute story! Thanks for explaining what a Stink bug is, I had no idea! (I guess they must like warm climates because we don't have them here in Chicago. Here we just have mosquitos the size of jumbo jets!) My son Andrew is as afraid of bugs as I am (don't tell him I told you that though!) and my youngest Brian WON'T kill a bug, he picks it up and places it outside for me! Guess we know where he stands on the death penalty! :)

Lizzy

Cathy said...

Hilarious!

And, as far as I'm concerned, that was the perfect ending. Squashed.

katy said...

You need to write a screenplay and make a kids movie. Call it something catchy like "stinky the singing bug." It would be huge and you would be a multi-millionaire and could pay someone to play games with your kids!

imbeingheldhostage said...

This is the funniest post I've read this week!

Hetha said...

I love that song! Reminds me of my folks, they're wild and crazy and love to sing it together when they've had a glass or two of wine.

andrea j said...

Love that story, and the picture is just perfect.

I have to get the spiders at my house, and I'm the only girl! ...what's up with that?

Dad said...

Excellent Kellan, EXCELLENT

kaylee said...

bugs YUck!!!!!!! i am back :)

Rachel said...

Bugs make me feel ill. I am such a tough little girl when it comes to anything else but bugs. YUK!

girlymom said...

Too bad the bug didn't really sing for ya, you could market that guy in movies...I mean if a Bee can have a movie, why not a stink bug?

Note to self: I need to get me a boy for the bugs. Ha.

Have a good night Kellan.

Laura said...

Oh my... you have made my day!!!

Junglemom said...

I try to convince my boys that that is what boys do too. *lol*

Julie

http://multipleblessings.wordpress.com/

sting said...

good imagination there :-)

Amy said...

HILARIOUS!! Bug Vac, Walmart.com, I'm just saying...

joan said...

I HATE bugs especially the big giant roaches they call palmetto bugs in South Carolina! Hope you are doing well Kellan.

bren j. said...

Last night there was a bug on the wall by the coat rack. I asked The Husband to 'get it' but I can't remember if he did....so now I don't want to put on my coat to go outside to shovel because what if it's IN THERE?!?!

Steph said...

I can't stop laughing, someone is going to come into my office an bust me reading your blog because I can't stop laughing!

Catizhere said...

UGH! I can't stand stink bugs!

Joe tells me that you're NOT SUPPOSED to squish them because the smell draws other stink bugs. If it's *in* my house, near *my* stuff or *my* babies, it's getting squished.
The few times that I tried to scoop them with a tissue, I could feel the little buggy legs kicking & I got all.....squinky about it & ended up doing that little "ohmyGodtheresabugonme dance" and squeeled like a little girl before I could wash it down the sink.

This Southern Belle said...

Just so tickled at the thought of that darn bug breaking out in song. Wouldn't it be great if that really had happened?

Jen said...

Ugh! I hate bugs. That is one part of patriarchy I hope we never lose-that men are the genetically inclined bug catchers/squishers/exterminators.

Happy Valentine's Day Kellan!

Amy said...

Ewww!
I grew up in the country. Stick bugs and pincher bugs EVERYWHERE.
Yuck!

Shellie said...

Love the daydream!!

LunaNik said...

Is it weird that I've never heard of a stink bug???

See...I told you Texas was creepy...even your bugs are weird!

Anonymous said...

Stink bugs in Gig Harbor are big black beetles. Hard bodied kind. I love them. They are a gardener's friend. I am in NW part of WA so I am not for sure what a stink bug is any place else. They like to lay their eggs and hatch their young under doggie poop. I have Cooper, my grandpup supplying their homes so I should have plenty of stink bugs come spring :)

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