Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Brain Cells - Who Needs Um?

The boy goes to school.


He makes excellent grades and listens to his teachers most of the time.


I was never good in school.


I seldom listened to my teachers - EVER!


The boy came into my room.


He said, "Mom - What's an ordered pair?"


The mom thinks ... *shoes - they come in pairs*
The mom thinks some more ... *eyes - they come in pairs too*
The mom thinks even harder *twins - I've got some of those - they are definitely a pair*
The mom thinks so hard her eyes nearly pop out of her skull *Hands - everyone has a pair of those*


Meanwhile, getting no quick answer from the mom, and seeing that her eyes are beginning to buldge out of her eye sockets, the boy explains what he means. He talks really fast, reading the definition from the paper in his hands, he says "A pair of numbers used to locate a point on a plane," he then looks up at the mom and waits.


The mom cracks a slight smile.


Then ... not being able to help herself ... the mom throws back her head and laughs so hard she almost pees her pants! Tears begin to roll down her cheeks from all the hysterical laughter. She is laughing all alone, but she can not stop. The more she thinks about the question - the more she laughs. She can't hardly regain her composure, but she finally wipes the tears from her eyes and looks down at her small son.


The boy cracks an aggrivated smile and looks at the mom with a face that says, Never mind - and he turns on his heels and leaves the room.


On the upside ... "A pair of numbers used to locate a point on a plane," - - - - - HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'll be right back - gotta go pee! (* hear off in the distance the mom still laughing hysterically from the toilet*)

84 comments:

OHmommy said...

"shoes... they come in pairs."

Oh, Kellan. You are seriously one funny lady. I love it!

OHmommy said...

And I was 1st to comment?

Doing a happy dance in my stilettos!!!

Summer said...

That's precisely what I would have done too.

jennifer h said...

One of the many, mannnnny reasons why I don't homeschool.

Since, you know, I want my kids to succeed in life and all.

So funny!

Becky said...

I love that your first reaction is to throw back your head and laugh!

I was thinking "Ordered pair? The pair of pantyhose I ordered online? Wha-?"

Kelli said...

my husband teaches math (high school) he said something but by the third time I asked "what" he said he couldnt hear me either.

Kelli said...

he is getting paper out now. drawing stuff with numbers

Brittany said...

Darn. Andy got it. I was hoping he wasn't smarter than me! I couldn't remember, for the life of me, what an ordered pair was. And you know what's even more SICK? He said almost that exact text book definition!

psht... What a nerd.

Kelli said...

Then my three year old starts the same graph and calls it an airplane math. what ever.

tommie said...

math, we have to do math. Good thing mine are only 3 and 4.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Just wait until he hits you with quadratic equations!

Hillary said...

you always crack me up!

Melissa said...

So that's how to get out of homework, laugh hysterically. Hmm, I'm filing that info for a later date! Thanks!

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

Poor kid!
Poor mama, all that new-fangled math!

Thanks for the updates on your grand-nephew, still praying.

HRH said...

You had me at shoes come in pairs...

Dawn said...

You are too funny! I like the pair of shoes best.

Angela said...

I am gunna be in trouble in about 10 years

Joanna said...

Yeah I'm laughing right along with you until I realized I had to explain it. Dagnabbit!

Leah said...

LOL!!!!!!!! Once he said something about a plane, I remembered the whole (x,y) graph (imagine a giant X except with the lines North/South and East/West instead of diagonal). X tells you how far right or left to travel on the horizontal line, and y tells you how far up or down to travel on the vertical line. so the ordered pair (1,2) would be a point one unit to the right and 2 units up. RIGHT? (I had to say all that purely to ask the question at the end to see if I'm thinking of the correct thing!!!) am I right? or no? You'll have to come over and tell me Kellan. It's been far too long since I've done MATH math. And someone mentioned quadratic equations. I got chills. LOL! I vaguely remember those!

I LOVE the idea of the hysterical laughter. Sometimes it's better to laugh at things like that. You could have decided to feel like crap you didn't have a clue (probably the route I would have taken, knowing me!). But you made it WAY more fun. And you got a great blog entry out of it! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (here's me laughing along with you!! ha ha!)

bermudabluez said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll be joining you in the ladies room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You do crack me up, Kellan!!

LunaNik said...

I am so not ready to help the kids with their math homework. History yes. English...bring it on. But math...oh boy...I'll just say "go ask your father" Heh.

TheVasquez3 said...

you rock!! seriously, you crack me up...i think i pee'd a little!

frog ponds rock... said...

heheheheheheeheh passengers are required to board in an ordely fashion... heheheheeh I was thinking of air travel ooops....

thank you thank you thank you

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

One of our close friends is a High School math teacher. I can't tell you how many times she has saved my butt by answering these types of questions!

Connor asks...I call Tammy the teacher!!

Hallie :)

Kaci said...

Wow...ummm ya...no idea with that one. But when Leah explained I can kinda sorta hear my sophmore math teacher talkin...planes, x, y, a, blah blah...LOL! Oh yea ordered pairs!! But I like shoes better. LMAO! :) Have a great day!

kim-d said...

Oh I am so with The Mom on the one. Point on a plane? Isn't that what the flight attendant does to show you where the emergency exits are? BWAHAHAHA!

Have a wonderful day, Kellan Renee.

Eagles' Wings said...

Yes. We do have tough questions that even MOTHER who homeschool will crack her head. I try to pass it to Dad ;-)

Jacki said...

As a girl I love your way of thinking about ordered pairs. But the mathematician in me is screaming "NOOOooooo!" :-)

Jen said...

I was laughing hysterically myself! Then I read kelli's comments and laughed some more! Definately a great way to start my day - thanks.

Amy said...

did you ever wonder? did we just forget this kind of stuff or did we never learn it to begin with???

Kathryn said...

Yep. I would have been laughing too. My boys will learn not to ask me any math questions. hehe

Courtney said...

The most obvious answer from you is that shoes come in pairs! You had me cracking up!

Marie said...

HAHAHAHA! Shoes come in pairs...yep!

I was lost at plane....I was thinking "airplane". Luckily, Madeline dad helps her with her junior high math...

Meg said...

Oh Kellan...you crack me up! Your blog is so much fun to read, I look forward to it every day!

Tammy said...

Can you say....pythagorean theorem?

lol

I don't help my oldest daughter AT ALL with math anymore. After asking me too many questions and me answering, "Huh?" she decided she's better off re-reading her lesson in the book. Thank heavens it's a good math book. :)

Jennifer said...

Bwaa ha ha! I feel this way already with my son's math homework and he is only in second grade. You're telling me it doesn't get better? Damn. Not that I was expecting it to get better. HA!!

Queen of My Domain said...

I'm going to have to laugh with you. There are way to many things that come in ordered pairs and shoes tops my list.

amanda said...

tee hee :) as a teacher i often wonder what the parents do when their kids ask for help - especially since they don't have all the answers in front of them like i do! and now i know :)

Angie said...

As an enginerd myself, I don't get what was so funny.
tee hee
KEEP BELIEVING

Patti said...

Oh my my kid is in for some trouble when she comes to me with math problems too!

missy said...

Very sadly, this is often my reaction when I look ahead to see what I'm supposed to be teaching my kiddo for math! Daddy already knows the day is fast approaching when he needs to take over the math classes. Did I mention we're only up to 4th grade??

:)

Karen MEG said...

I liked your answer, I mean honestly, shoes would have come up first on my list too!

You are such a riot, Kellan. Love you and your boy!

Melanie said...

That so reminds me of my mom and my brother. Too funny!

Laurie M. said...

Too funny! Ordered pairs? I came up with the same answers that you did!

another good thing said...

Oh that newfangled modern math.. wait till they start in with the politically correct word problems with Tayisha and Duane living above Yoshi And Abdul.

Lizzy in the Burbs said...

I'm right there with you, Kellan! My boys don't even ask me math questions anymore, they just go straight to their father! It all sounds like a foreign language to me!

Lizzy

Are You Serious! said...

♥ My daughter does that all the time. I just need a little clarifing please! :)

Laura said...

Oh my...I am laughing so hard, I need to run have a pee!!!!!

Leah said...

PS You commented on my blog that you're such a rotten mother, and although I know you were just joking, I had to come back and say NO YOU'RE NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're a fantastic mom, among other things.

Kimmie said...

I thank the heavens above everyday that my daughter's teacher sends home a parents' cheatsheet for the math homework. We'd never make it through......

bren j. said...

ordered pairs....I think I remember those....but my brain is starting to hurt.

One Scrappy Gal said...

I fear the day I get asked those questions... because my kids will see how dumb I really am!! Hopefully their dad will be here for them!

One Scrappy Gal said...

I fear the day I get asked those questions... because my kids will see how dumb I really am!! Hopefully their dad will be here for them!

multipleblessings said...

That's what I have to look forward too? ... I'm scared now!

Julie

BeachMama said...

That is so me. I find it funny already. Math was never my strong suit, never mind calculus. Thankfully Hubby and I can share the homework, he can take maths and sciences and I will take everything else.

Steph said...

Kellan,

Great story. I would also be wondering a pair of what and I have a minor in math for crying out loud. I guess what they say is true, if you don't use it you lose it.

Steph

This Southern Belle said...

So funny!

Bia said...

This afternoon my 13 year old asked me when Dad would be home because he needed some help with his math homework. When I volunteered to help him he said, "Uh, Mom, not to be insulting or anything but this is really hard stuff."

Huh. I guess he knows I HATE MATH!

utmomof5 said...

Some how I am not surprised shoes where the first thing you thought of. I would have never known what he was talking about. School was a lot of years ago!!

Christina

Misty said...

Oh the horror.

If my kids EVER ask me a math question, I'm doomed. I guarantee it'll be the FIRST time AND the LAST!

Toni said...

I think I still hear you laughing, Kellan! Great one!

Em said...

I'd def have laughed! funny love your posts

TheCynicalOptimist said...

i like your whole reverse psuchology, let's laugh in the face of science, approach. Sheer genius. :)

Pam said...

hey- there is a reason I teach 2nd grade and nothing older. I would have to learn it all first before I could teach that stuff!

Janice said...

I love me a mommy moment like that-

Guess what? My husband just brought in the mail and guess what was there? Yep my gift card, Thanks you rock-

Amanda said...

LOL! I must remember this response so I can use it in the future. I'm sure my day will come too!

Kami said...

YOU are hilarious!

:-)

The Boyds Family said...

Oh yeah! I would have been right there with you on that one....an ordered huh?? LOL!!

Have a great evening!

The Boyds Family said...

Oh yeah! I would have been right there with you on that one....an ordered huh?? LOL!!

Have a great evening!

The Boyds Family said...

Oh yeah! I would have been right there with you on that one....an ordered huh?? LOL!!

Have a great evening!

Lisa said...

Love your humor :) I'm sure the boy appreciates it too - even if he doesn't show it!!!

Shireen Loh said...

Yup, I can still hear the laughter...:-D

Amy said...

If I have complicated math that needs doing, I usually ask my 12 year old to do it for me...

Andrea said...

haha...that's too funny! I'm so bad with math it's crazy...so I"m sure my answer woulda been a pair of shoes too. ;)

katy said...

I am horrible at math...my daughter is taking trig this year and I don't even look at it...at all.

Mo said...

I would have guessed shoes too :)

girlytwins said...

I would have guessed shoes too however I always revert to shoes as they are my passion :) I was ROFL at this. I am going to no help once my kids get past addition and subtraction. Hopefully the hubby retained some of that info.

Still sending prayers for your little guy.

Anonymous said...

You're hilarious! I loved this blog!

Damama T said...

NO FAIR!! kim-d took my answer! LOL! The plane thing just immediately produced an image of a flight attendant standing there doing the, 'there's the door, and there's the door and there's the floor' routine. Does that mean I subconsciously like to travel more than I like to shoe shop?? LOL!!

Another great post, Kellan. Now I'm sorry I've been away so long! I gotta make a point of getting back here more often!!! TTFN

JO-N said...

You're spontanious, Kellan, for situation like this. Love this post.

mama meji said...

What a riot! You lift the cloud of sleep hanging over me. Thanks for the giggle.

VERB

Makimeji

Karen said...

Dontcha love when the kids are smarter than we are? *sigh* It must be a sign of our age.

Shellie said...

And there's the difference between the mathematician's mind and the mom's!

Buncha Blue-Eyed Monkeys said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Love those moments. Here's to hoping my days of ordered pairs are faaaaaaar away!...math, that is. NOT the pair of capris I have in my cart ready to order online!

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