Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Either Speed Up ... Or Shuffle On Out Of My Way

I am a fast talker.

I use lots of hand gestures when I talk.

I don't do anything slowely.

Most of all ... I walk really fast - everywhere.

I sit down - and then I stand up quickly, run and do something and then run and do something else. I am a multi-tasker and I have perfected this art.

So ... imagine me - this very busy mother - running up and down the hallway by our bedrooms. In one room and out of the other. In and out of the bathroom, grabbing towels and brushes. Putting away clothes. Wiping off counters. Picking up toys.

And then ... imagine Alexis.

She has just gotten out of the bathtub.

She has a towel wrapped tightly around her chubby body - from her neck all the way down to her slippery little toes.

She is coming from my bathroom.


She yells loudly, "Mom ----- do you know how long baby steps take?" *baby step ...... baby step ........ baby step ........ baby step ....... baby step ............*


Now ... imagine me .... stopping all of my running around long enough to view this phenominon from the end of the hallway ..... *baby step .......... baby step ............ baby step ............. baby step .........*


Let me just say ..... It takes a long time!


She was still there in the hallway 5 minutes later - making her way to her bedroom - leaving tiny baby-step-wet-footprints on the wood floor.


And me - I had baked a casserole, given both dogs a bath, defrosted the freezer, stripped and waxed the kitchen floor....


Okay - not really - we have saltillo tile - it doesn't require waxing (tee hee).

The point is ... this story ... pretty much sums up my whole life.

Just imagine ... my husband, my 15 year old twin daughters, my 10 year old son and then, of course, sweet little Alexis ... all shuffling around my house .... taking ...... baby steps ........ baby steps ......... baby steps ........... baby steps ...........


On the upside ... I'm not sure who looks more ridiculous - me, moving at the speed of light - or the rest of them - shuffling along in perpetual slow motion. We are like a carnival side-show --- "Step right up ... here you will see CRAZY MOM-WOMAN zooming around at rocket speed ...doing all the work, while ... her smarter, slower-moving family shuffles along ... just stirring up dust - it is a pathetic sight to behold!"

82 comments:

Angela said...

Super woman faster than the speed of child or man.
I think that actually applys to me too.
Well my son never stops moving either.
Smiles!

Marie said...

Reason #572 why we need a "Kellan Cam"! Until we get our cam...I'll just imagine you running around like a crazy women...dust kicked up behind you...and your baby steps family! hehehehe

Karen said...

I'm exactly like you are - always running. Just reading about those baby steps made me want to go hurry her along!

girlymom said...

I find that I get very distracted in my multi tasking, but eventually I circle back around to the first task I started with and in the end it all gets done. I am guilty of having the kids sit to the side on the steps so I can walk over them and get down the steps first...they are sooo slow!

tommie said...

I think Alexis and my Livi were born out of the same mold.....

jennifer h said...

Now that's a show I would pay to see.

She's figured out her ticket to get out of chores, you know. Smart girl.

Add a dog in there, and you've got my house when I'm trying to get things done (not to be confused with when I'm sitting in my office just reading blogs)

Angie said...

Yup. You've just described my life, too. After Brian's surgery, he lost some of his function on his right side and his steps are markedly slower. He can't help it. The other night, I read the Tortoise and the Hare and my sweet Grant called it out, "Daddy is a tortoise." Made me sad and smile all at once. Brian laughed and said, yup, Mommy's the Hare and Slow and Steady Wins the Race.

KEEP BELIEVING

Dad said...

You're doing fine Kellan, just fine!

Andrea said...

That sounded a lot like ME and JOELLE.

I am a busy, efficient, multi-tasker too...and Joelle? Umm...a dawdler, to say the least!

AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!

Kami said...

This is my house too! They wonder why I never sit down

Anyone else picking things up?

Nope.

That's why.
:-)

Melissa said...

Us mom's have to be quick to keep up with our families!! Pretty soon your going to have to wear a helmet!!

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

Totally giggling here!
In my house there are still toddlers and they run circles around everyone, even me. There's a visual for you, typical running around mom with orbiting moons at hyperspeed.

Ashley said...

My kids are only waist high. I can't see them when I am charging from one room to the next. They are so used to getting accidently trampled, so like my cats they know to move out of the way when I come running through.

onthegomom said...

My kids have learned that when I am on the move... WATCH OUT!!! LOL!!

MamaGeek said...

You are ME. Err I mean, I am YOU! I totally get this.

Hillary said...

That's too funny! I can just picture the baby steps...so cute.

Cathy said...

I'm also incapable of having a conversation without constant gesturing and exclaiming!

Karen MEG said...

I can just picture you whizzing around while everyone else is shuffling about. I usually find myself running around quite a bit too; often my hubs tells me to slow down, take a chill pill... which, uh, annoys me to no end!

Kelli said...

I walk the same way and if I get behind my husband in the hall way, I loose. There is no room to pass! I usually do the grocery shopping, once a month or so we all go together and I am to the end of the isle and he is way back there with the cart. Drives me crazy. Glad its not me but maybe most women. Thanks for sharing that. I feel more normal!

Becky said...

I could totally picture this scenario, Kellan.

I'll bet if there was a Kellan Cam, you'd be a blur going in and out of the scene, with the rest of your family milling around, taking their time, and probably making faces at the camera, lol.

Rachel said...

I think it's a Texas thing. I move, walk, talk, eat, read, write, think... live at the speed of light. It's bizarre.. and talking without moving my hands!! Ain't gonna happen!! :-)
Thanks for the giggles and the prayers.

My Goodness said...

I can relate...just with fewer family members. My girl has definitely become a daudler(sp?). She cracks me up and I want to crack a whip and say GIDDY-UP!!

JCK said...

I can imagine you as SUPAH WOMAN very easily, Kellan! This story brought a smile to my face. I don't move at that speed all the time, but certainly can whip down the hallways and through rooms when I'm trying to get a lot done. Of course, then I often misjudge doorways and dressers and injure myself...

Leah said...

Connor's the one who moves at lightening speed in our house, and I think I must be moving so slowly I'm going backwards or something because I never can seem to stay on top of that child! or the clutter. Or the laundry, or dishes, or TOYS.

wanna come lightening speed yourself around my house for a few days????

justabeachkat said...

We might be twins! I never sit down or sit still unless I'm at the computer and even then the washer is going, dinner is cooking, etc. Cute post.

Hugs!
Kat

bermudabluez said...

KellanCam! What a concept! I love it!! And I can SO relate to this....maybe it's a MOM thing...

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I hate being so late to comment. Me too to everything above.

Tammy said...

We have fast lanes and slow lanes in our home too. :)

Are You Serious! said...

♥ Maybe I would actually get my chores done if I had your energy! I want to be zoom mom! :)

Mo said...

I can totally picture that! Don't feel too bad, I think most of us moms end up speeding around to make up for the slowness of our loved ones. It's possible they do it on purpose...I hope not though. But hey, not only do we get a profound sense of accomplishment for the multitude of tasks we've finished...we also get great exercise!

Mom not Mum said...

Today is one of those blog days I read posts and really get filled! Everyone has something fantastic to say and I'm glad I popped by and read this. I'm off to rush around as well but hopefully I'll get a chance to take a few baby steps along the way.

Eagles' Wings said...

This is a very funny post. I never saw it that way before... You do have a way in telling your stories.. ha ha

Usually is my 6 years old boy that zips here and there... the rest of us takes "baby steps". Hubby is stationary - infront of the TV or computer ;-/

kim-d said...

Okay, Kellan Renee, THIS must be what separates the real Moms from the (step)Moms like me. What you described was my Mom, too--sometimes it appeared that her tiny little short legs were making complete revolutions, she was going so fast. MY short little tree stump legs, on the other hand, go much slower--always have, always will. At least your way gives you a good cardio workout--HA! Have a wonderful day, Kellan Renee...

THopgood said...

I'm learning patience in my old age...I have 3 kids (11, 9, & 5) who still haven't figured out how to brush their teeth in under 30 minutes. Love your blog btw!

One Scrappy Chicklet said...

I always thought Superman's motto should have been faster than a speeding mom.
Everyone in my house seem to live on a different time zone. We call it "mo time" here. My husband mo is one of those people that if you want him somewhere at 10 tell him he has to be there at 9 and hope he makes it by 10:15. D~man is just like that and the rest are on the border.

LOL

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I do EVERYTHING fast - my friends and family call it HALLIE MODE.

I totally get what you mean - the rest of the world seems to go in slow motion!

Hallie :)

Steph said...

I'm always running and jumping from one thing to the next too! Love the image of the baby steps all the way down the hallway :)

I've been reading but not commenting lately.... was under the weather for a few days - back now!

Amanda said...

I think all moms move like lightning. My mother does and I'm starting to too. Its the rest of the family that doesn't realize that there are things to GET DONE!

Katrina said...

I'm hoping when my motherhood status becomes official that I will require the move like lightning skills. I need it!

Toni said...

You move so quickly so they can stop and smell the roses!

Cheeky said...

My hubs is one of those fast movers like you. Seriously, I make him have to slow down when go places together. Not that I am a snail or anything but I am short and have a short stride, he's got those long legs and his stride is 3 times mine LOL

OHmommy said...

I totally had you pegged as a FAST walker.

I knew it. LOL :)

Rachel said...

LOL. Thanks Corn on the cob is a huge hit here. When fresh corn isn't the best, we've become huge fans of HEB's mini corn in a steamable bag. 4 ears, 6 minutes. A little salt, pepper, garlic salt and occasionally a pinch of sugar. So delish!!

Kari & Kijsa said...

LOL!! We would love to get together..we are fast talkers, hand gesturers, living loud exclamation point lives...and take great pleasure in the beautiful baby steps all around us! thank you so much for reminding us of the sweetness of family!

blessings,
kari & kijsa

Kari & Kijsa said...

LOL!! We would love to get together..we are fast talkers, hand gesturers, living loud exclamation point lives...and take great pleasure in the beautiful baby steps all around us! thank you so much for reminding us of the sweetness of family!

blessings,
kari & kijsa

Kari & Kijsa said...

LOL!! We would love to get together..we are fast talkers, hand gesturers, living loud exclamation point lives...and take great pleasure in the beautiful baby steps all around us! thank you so much for reminding us of the sweetness of family!

blessings,
kari & kijsa

kimmy said...

I move fast too...my husband always tells me that he gets tired just watching me!

I can't sit still - unless Lost is on, then I am glued to the TV!

Kimmy

pb&j in a bowl said...

I told my husband that I enable him to be slow, by me moving so fast. My little girl's favorite thing to do right now is to hop on one foot down the hallway. Takes her f-o-r-e-v-e-r

Meg said...

I too can run circles around everyone in my family...thank goodness God gave us multi-tasking brains!

Summer said...

One thing I am very proud of is my crazy good multi-tasking ability.

Dawn said...

I imagine you have to be fast to accomplish all that you seem to do Kellan! Alexis sounds so funny with those baby steps. I'm usually running around my house until after dinner, then... I'm to tired to take anything except baby steps.

JO-N said...

Oh Kellan, my hubby and I are the fast ones at home and the children just like to move slowly, dreaming at times and I can't stand the sight of them doing everything slowly. How to make them move faster?

Courtney said...

Your house could be a reality tv show.

Kathryn said...

That pretty much sums up a mom's life perfectly! Sounds like my house. :)

Family Adventure said...

Kellan, you just described my life to a T. I thought it was because I just had boys, but I guess not!

Know that you are not alone!

Heidi

PS: Checking in from France, but the internet connection is lousy, so I'll catch up with you next week!

Lizzy in the Burbs said...

Hi, Kellan!

You actually sound more like my hubby than me. I'm more of a slow and steady wins the race person. I get the same things done, just not at lightening speed, more contemplative, I guess! Hey, maybe we should trade? I'll ship hubby off to TX and you can send your bunch up here to Chicago! :o)

Lizzy

Steph said...

Boy it sounds lie Alexis has a lot a patients. I couldn't do it. When I'm going somewhere I need to get there NOW! Unless I'm driving then I get there as fast as speed limits allow (no speeding tickets here, they cost too much! :-))

It must be a GRITS (girls raised in the south) thing to talk with your hands. I do it so much I took sign language as my foreign language in college.

Queen of My Domain said...

If we didn't move at the speed of lightning then things wouldn't get done. I can so relate to this one.

BeachMama said...

I can just see you flying by all of them. I am pretty much the same here, only instead of J taking baby steps, I have two dogs, BIG dogs, that are feeling left out due to the new baby. So they feel the need to drop at my feet wherever I seem to be. I have tripped over them more times in the last six months than I have in 12 years. I am constantly saying, "get out of my way!"

E said...

Somehow I think they all must know something we don't.
Wonderful post....

HRH said...

very funny.

Patti said...

Y'all are a mess. I kind of zip around too (no laughing) and i'm constantly admonishing Stacy and Madison to hurry up already!
I love your baby steps... baby steps... LOL

Janice said...

I always knew you had powers-

I think it is a mom thing, I feel like my kids and hubby are all moving so much slower then me. Then only time I walk slow are on days I have run my long run or a marathon, my kids like it when I slow down.

Maria said...

Oh I feel the same way! I'm always running around like a crazy woman. When my husband gets my daughter ready for bed, he just stands there and watches her get ready, when I put my son to bed, I scrub the bathroom and clean up dirty clothes! I wish I had more time to stop and smell the roses like Alexis!

Joanna said...

Everyone teases me that if you tie my hands together I would sufficate as I would forget to breathe if my hands weren't moving.

Are you good at staying on top of things or do you race into a room and forget why you came in there? Just me? Doh!

Jen said...

Well, you have to move quickly so you get it all done and have time for blogging, right?

bren j. said...

Well minus all the extra children and the whole daughter-walking thing, you've described my house to a T. Oh my goodness! I never knew one person could take so long to brush teeth and get ready for bed! Argh! He just stands in front of the mirror..."thinking." GAHHHHH!

Heather said...

How else would you get everything done? You have to move that fast to slow time down.

sara said...

i was thinking that you would do well in new york city! makes me think about walking my two-year-old up the stairs to his twin brothers' classroom when he insists he must wear the boots he really can't walk in. we both shuffle, shuffle, take baby steps while my mind is running with all i must get done.

thanks for stopping by my blog. i'm brand new at this!

the dragonfly said...

Ugh, I wish I could be a multi-tasker. I'm more of a "pick one thing, do it, and do something else when it's done" kind of girl.

I think that might change as the Little Mister grows...

:)

Don Mills Diva said...

Oh Kellan - I FEEL this post. My hubby is a world-class putterer and it drives me insane!

Pam said...

OMG! I am laughing my butt off at the idea of you moving so fast all over the place and all that can be seen is a flash of light where you have gone. And the rest of the family not even noticing....hee hee hee!

dlyn said...

I am a fast walker too - zip zip zip. Drives my husband nuts

LunaNik said...

Yep, I'm a fast walker too. I'm always saying "gogogogogogogogo" to whomever is blocking me from my task. I say this so much that my older daughter now says that to her sister. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not.

multipleblessings said...

Don't you ever wish you could spend a day doing the baby step thing... Just to see what it's like? *lol*

Julie

Brittany said...

Being a mom...That's what it's all about! I move at the speed of light, as well! How can we not? We'd never get anything done, if we didn't!!!

Rima said...

Oh, honey! I'll keep him and your family in my prayers. My brother was born eight weeks early and weighing under one pound, back in 1974. He is now a very healthy and happy 33 year old.

Deb said...

LOL... I am constantly admonishing my husband to "HURRY UP!!!" when we walk anywhere together, and it confounds me that he is unable to do more than one thing at a time. What are the chances my son will take after me instead? Yeah... nil... that's what I thought, too.

common mom said...

Oh my how I feel your pain! My daughter has this knack for telling stories . . . but if she gets caught up in what whe wants to say, she has to start all the way over from the very beginning . . . and try to make it through again . . . it's like she's being filmed for some movie! Drive. Me. Crazy!

But of course I smile and nod and listen . . . with much effort ;-)

The Boyds Family said...

Maybe, if you didn't move so fast...you wouldn't stir up so much dust and then your cleaning would be cut in half...ha!

Just a thought.

See you soon. Yvette

andrea j said...

Oh so true, this is what motherhood is all about. I have a hard time stopping to watch a movie with my family. :) The work never ends!

Darla said...

I can so relate! Sounds a lot like our house. When my 3 y.o. insists that I join her in the bathroom for a potty party and I'm supposed to just STAND there waiting for her to finish up, I just can't resist...the only way I can handle it is just start wiping the bathroom down, picking up the piles of clothes and towels tht have been strewn about...until her little rear end is ready for its wiping! I've been on here but have always had troubles posting comments on your blog! Just happy I can comment now. :)

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