Little Billy was sitting across from me at the dinner table.
He was not eating his food.
He was fiddling around - messing with his ears.
I watched.
Like watching a little monkey.
He stopped.
He picked up his fork - took a bite of chicken.
It was then that I saw ...
He had been ...
STUFFING QUARTERS IN EACH OF HIS EARS - you know - flat like, stuffed in there sideways, filling the quarter-sized cartilage area (*mom squints her eyes trying to make out the COIN DENOMINATION*) .
He sat there and ate with those quarters in his ears.
I let him.
Then ...
Into the evening, I went to his room to say good-night.
I saw he was chewing on something and so I said, "Give me the gum - and go brush your teeth," I cupped my hand under his chin for him to spit the gum into my palm.
He spit it out ...
A RED RUBBER BAND!
(*Mom shakes off the squirrely chill that slithers across her neck - eeek!*)
A few days later ...
I was in his room straightening up.
I made his bed.
I picked up the dirty clothes off the floor.
I put books back on the book shelf.
Then ...
I peeled the ...
GUM FROM THE KNOB ON HIS NIGHTSTAND AND ...
THREW IT IN THE TRASH!
On the upside ... That kid!! He's like a bored little bubble-gum-chewin'-stickin'-quarters-in-his-ears zoo monkey that has too much time on his hands! And me ... I'm like the zoo keeper just watching the spectacle from the other side of the glass and ... only entering his cage every now and then ... to spray the poop off the walls!
97 comments:
Poop on the walls requires a whole bunch of elbow grease! Trust me, I used to work in a school for kids with severe behavior problems. We had a few who liked to throw their poo!
Lucky me, huh?
Hallie ;)
Oh, boys. boys. boys. I can't wait to go through all of this. lol
Hi Kellan
How wondrful to "meet" you. Thank you ever so much for stopping by my blog and leaving me such kind comments.
Your blog was just the thing I needed today. I have been sitting here laughing while reading through your posts. Ohhh the joys I have to look forward to when my own little boy decides to enter the world. For now though, I am enjoying each and every second with my little girl (who has her own little antics)and is currently having her sleep.
Love
Elise
Hi Kellan
How wondrful to "meet" you. Thank you ever so much for stopping by my blog and leaving me such kind comments.
Your blog was just the thing I needed today. I have been sitting here laughing while reading through your posts. Ohhh the joys I have to look forward to when my own little boy decides to enter the world. For now though, I am enjoying each and every second with my little girl (who has her own little antics)and is currently having her sleep.
Love
Elise
Yep, he's all boy, I can tell that from way over here. :-)
Hi Kellan
I am so sorry that I published my comment three times. It didn't appear as though it was publishing and then suddenly all three attempts seemed to go through.
I am experiencing some difficulty in removing them. It keeps asking me to sign in again, but won't allow me to delete the extra comments.
I am sorry to do this to you.
Elise.
That is so true isn't it. I never thought of us like zoo keepers, but it just makes sense. I am Bananas too. Welcome to the "a/peeling" club. It's better than being all Cherry. Thats no fun.
Your son sounds adorable by the way.
Boys will be boys - mine's only 2.5 and he's already displaying monkey-like tendencies.
Hi Kellen
Remember me? I've been so bad about blog reading lately...not because I don't want to read, but because of my crazy life recently. Lots of company, which has been wonderful and then all the medical tests, "hoopla", etc. I'm back now though...finally.
You've been a busy, busy girl. I've really enjoyed reading all your posts I've missed and seeing all your photos. I loved your ghost story. I have a few of those myself and really should do a post about them sometime.
Hugs!
Kat
"I'm like the zoo keeper just watching the spectacle from the other side of the glass and ... only entering his cage every now and then ... to spray the poop off the walls!" Yes, that pretty much describes raising a boy!
Poop off the walls!?! Yikes. Don't want to see that.
I'd tell you all the interesting places I found gum at the high school. But, we simply don't have the time or space :)
I'm not there yet, with quarters and gum, but I'm not that far away yet either!
Thanks for stopping by my blog, I love yours and will be back!
I am an observer, poop sprayer too. That made me smile thanks!
Oh you gotta love boys! Just gotta love boys!
This is my future, isn't it? Just think - I have two of those creatures in my house! ; ) (well, 3 if you count the husband...)
Zoo keeper. Isn't that the truth? The cleanup never ends.
He"s YOURS ! ! enjoy him while you can
Boys, gotta love 'em! Your post made me smile.
Thanks for visiting my blog. I have enjoyed reading yours. I'll be back.
Twenty-two or so years ago, I had to take my oldest to urgent care so they could pull a pea out of her nose. A week later? A grain of rice.
Gum on the nightstand? Count your blessings.
I know how it is with those darling boys! I wrote a post not too long ago about the adventures my son gets into! What fun!
What a cute monkey, my monkeys do that kind of stuff too!
Hello Kellan,
Thanks for stopping by my blog. It's nice to meet you too. I don't think I've ever met a zoo keeper before ;)
I loved your Kung Fu Panda post! It's only coming out on July 8th here in Belgium and we'll probably go see it with the kids. Both my husband and I love animated movies, so it's a treat for us too. The only downside is that the kids are too young to read subtitles so we go to the dubbed version. That's why we love DVD's: we can watch the original version later!
Tania
I think I'm glad that I raised a girl!!! LOL, he sounds like a handful!! Hugs, Jeanne
Hi Kellan,
Thanks for stooping by.. it's so nice to meet you too!!! Oh I love your blog...Billy sounds like character!! Kellan your reference to a zookeeper is so true & a perfect description of what we do each day!!!
Kung Fu Panda has just opened here in Australia, so we'll be going to see it soon!!
Take care.. see you soon,
love,
Tanya xx
Oh this so reminded me of my brothers when we were kids. :) Hehe.
Trace :)
Boys!!!
Gez...my lil brother (now 21) sounds a lot like little Billy
You just described a Tuesday at my house.:)
Very funny post!
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
I'll be back.
God Bless,
Amy:)
So that is what I have to look forward to with my son......thanks for the warning!
that kid is priceless!!!
He is full-on entertainment for everyone. Thanks for sharing.
If you weren't a zoo keeper, what would you be? :)
Hope you got to go the lake!!
Boys will be boys Kellan! And i've got 4 of them!
Have fun trying to get that chewing gum off the furniture!
Love,
Amanda x
kids...you never quite know what they are going to come up with next and just when you think you're one step ahead, they sneak past you an catch you off guard.
Cute post!
~K
That is a treasure, I mean the little monkey. I just love boys, and as much as my little one gets on my bad side at times, I love the "boy" stuff that he does.
So this is what I have to look forward to, huh? Oh boy! ;)
Boys/Men are disgusting creatures, but they certainly keep things interesting!
That is so funny! Yesterday, my youngest was eating poo-dirt (dirt fertilized with our neighbor's composted horse-poo) while I pulled weeds in our garden. Ah, kids. It's always an adventure!
A rubber band, really? YUCK!!!
At least he didn't fling the poo at you. Boys are strange creatures - just look at our husbands. If I knew my husband when he was a kid there would be no way I would be married to him now! The stories he tells. (shudder)
Ew on the rubber band! That one would have bothered me the most. Must be a boy thing. Germs and such just do not concern them.
A zoo keeper...that's exactly how I feel some days. ;)
Ewwwww! Kids are so gross! Sometimes all you can do is laugh!
What can I say..I have a huge soft spot for boys. I a "boy" mama for sure! I wish I'd had 5! You and Hallie with monkeys today :)
Give that little darling a hug from me LOL!
You've been tagged.
OMG Kellan you are a trip! Thanks for making me laugh out loud this morning. I can always count on you to put a smile on my face! At least he put the gum where you could see, me daughter would put her's behind the headboard and when we moved I saw the evidence of years of gum stuck to the back of the headboard!
LOL- Boys.....
LOL-That is an absolutely hilarious story!!
Boys, gotta love them!
Oh gosh, that's to funny and gross. I feel your paing there though although I haven't had quarters in the ears yet.
Quarters...I can handle.
Rubber bands...I can handle.
Gum on the dresser? Wow...that's gross. The joys of motherhood right?
This is too hilarious. My youngest brother was just like little Billy growing up. I used to watch my mom go crazy with the silly things he did.
Kellan,
Did you like the tattoo because you have a similar one? (hee hee)
Hallie :)
Funny... gotta love 'em. Looks like I have a lot to read this evening... (your posts.. ; ) )
I'm a zoo keeper too! The hardest part is keeping enough bananas on stock and keeping them in thier cages! lol
Yep, he's a boy. I love your dad's comment.
Ick, boys are so gross! I have three of the little boogers and I find their little disgusting smears EVERYWHERE! When do they stop being so gross?
Posts like this are great, because they let me know what I'm in for as Little Elvis gets bigger. I know it's kind of gross now, but these are definitely stories to tell the girlfriends later.
So your telling me that THIS is what I have to look forward when Bean gets older. Oh my.
that cracks me up. And grosses me out at the same time. hehe
So glad that I have girls....
No, girls can be just as bad as boys. But your stories made me laugh.
Boogers on the walls. That's one of my fav cleanups.
Your blog is fabulous! I'm subscribing. Thanks for visiting mine!
Kellan,
very nice to meet you. thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment too!! :) I love to meet new bloggers out there. :)
i am LOL from your post. Zoo keeper is the perfect name for moms of little boys. (and maybe little girls too, mine are quite messy!)
if you don't mind i'm going to add you to my blog roll that way i can make my way back easier. :)
thanks, again.
xoxoxo
Ha! Good one! Maybe he was saving that gum for later, Kellan...and you went and threw it away! ;-)
Boys will be boys!And I got 3 of them!LOL!
Do you know what I do at that moments?I just take time out minute,close my eyes and take a BIG deep breath!...
;)x
Oh my goodness! Boys, they keep you guessing all!the!time!
oh, I am just guessing that these are the fun sorts if things I have to look forward to as my little guy gets older.
gross.
Three cheers for the little monkeys in our lives! They make life so very interesting and incredibly fun!
: )
Hey, at least you're not scraping boogers off the wall like me.
KEEP BELIEVING
Doesn't look like you need me, but I added you to my blogroll!
And I seriously hope the poop part wasn't real??? Ick!
I have two older girls, all drama and hormones and whining. And I have a little boy who is deliriously happy with small things, forgets problems and is generally oblivious most of the time and it's SO refreshing.
You ever wonder what goes through their minds when they do these things??? *rofl*
Kellan,
That boy of yours is all boy isn't he?? LOL Funny story.
That is just TOO funny!
While that is just gross, I have to say I remember "saving" my gum in weird spots as a kid! Yuck!!
Too funny!
Hi Kellan! Nice to meet you too!
Awesome blog!!
sometimes I wonder why we even bother cleaning our house when my 2.5 year old has it a mess in minutes!
All I can say is, good luck!
BTW-Its nice to meet you! I'm Amanda, you visiting my blog and I will be coming back for more stories!
Hi Kellan... I popped over & said hello to Heidi... (viking) thank you for the heads up... Looking forward to reading more of your blog!
Quarters in his ears....he sounds like my boy!!!
LOVE your blog and thanks for visiting mine.
I will be back! :)
boys are great! you gotta love them:P
That boy of yours has a fantastic imagination! Hilarious :)
Heidi
Boys are so weird and so hilarious. :-)
HA! Sooo funny, typical boy stuff. I always amazes me the stuff they come up with to do!
Hey, at least they keep us entertained!
hahaha sounds like you described EVERY meal at my house!!!
just like a proud, "big billy", papa MONKEY... "He"s YOURS!! enjoy him while you can"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
love,
dani
Boys are a different breed, aren't they?
LOL Boys. You gotta love 'em. They ARE like little monkeys. (on good days-- teehee) On bad days? slugs? hamsters on a wheel? Nice post.
Kellan, you're SCARING ME! Are all boys like this?
*hopes not* :)
I think you may have just provided a glimpse into my future.
Oh wow-I can only imagine what is in store for me with my little guy. Sweet little monkey Billy.
Ha! What a spunky and spirited little boy you have there!
Thanks for visiting my blog today. I've had such a fun time visiting yours. I'm going to look around some more.
Pure boy through and through! lol
I love the way you write - OMG I laughed all the way though this - perfectly describing what it's like to be a mom!
Oh be glad it is NOT poop on the walls! Just a few short years ago....
Too funny, Kellan!
Ewww, being the germ freak I am, the rubber band would have grossed me out. Sometimes I just don't understand boys ya know?? :)
Hi Kellan ~ I know the feeling, my children break for summer in July and then I will be on Zoo Keeper duties too!!
Hope you are well,
love and hugs ~ Tabitha XXX
That little Billy is going to keep you busy!
♡ You crack me up! I hope the poo sprays off the walls! :)
BTW.. I feel the same way!
Interesting. One of our cats can't get enough of rubber bands. He sniffs them out and devours them.
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