Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Out In Front Of Me ...

I slung my straw purse over my shoulder, grabbed my bottle of cold water and headed out the front door.


I was wearing a pair of ratty shorts, a tank top and flip flops I usually wear while working in my yard.


My hair was a mess, as I had rolled out of bed that morning and opted to clean the house over taking a shower.


I put on my black sunglasses, the ones with the rhinestones sprinkled around the frame, as they are big and would hopefully distract from my messy bed-hair and face bare of make-up.


I walked down the front steps and along the sidewalk.


With car keys in hand, I stepped onto the driveway and made my way toward my car.


I yelled across the driveway to my 5 year old twin daughter, "Here - start the car," and I tossed the keys into the air.


It was at that moment - when she stood in front of me - tall and poised - mature and beautiful - confident ... that I realized that she was no longer a 5 year old child - no longer my sweet baby girl - no longer standing behind me .... anymore.


It was at that moment that ... I saw her as a young woman - as a flower standing tall - as an image of my younger self and not the child I have always looked after.


It was at that moment - as the sun enlightened the beauty of her face and the keys floated through the air, as if in slow motion, that ... I saw her.


Not behind me.


Not beside me.


But ...


Out in front of me ...


Standing at the threshold that will lead her ...


Away from me ...


Into her own world.


It was a sad awakening, but ...


She had a smile on her face.



On the upside ... I have sadness, but ... I have done my very best to prepare her. She is a flower and she will do well. I can only hope that the foundation I have layed for her is strong and holds tightly the memories and lessons to serve as her touchstone. I can only hope that that smile ... goes with her!

I love you, Courtney.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

64 comments:

Kathryn said...

That was gorgeous Kellan. Wow.

LaskiGal said...

Beauty at its best. Just like her mama.

Rosemary Bogdan said...

Awwww. Sweet. How I know the feeling. When my oldest drove away in our extended full size van on his first solo drive I had the oddest combination of feelings--- terror and euphoria. Terror, because my baby was doing the most dangerous thing he had ever done in his life and I was scared for him....and euphoria because I now HAD ANOTHER DRIVER!!! One child who could drive to his own activities and maybe even drive younger siblings to theirs! Watching them grow up. It feels so unnatural. And yet it's the most natural thing in the world.

Wendi said...

That was beautiful.
Just beautiful.
Just. like. her.

Julie said...

That was beautiful! ... You have such a way with words!

tammy said...

That was such a tender post. Beautiful!

One Scrappy Chicklet said...

They grow up so fast don't they. Love your way with words.

Hugz,
Tami

ShannanB said...

Wow Kellan. That was beautiful.

dlyn said...

Great post Kellan - we raise em up and let em go ...

Denise Wheeler said...

Wow! That was a very profound post. Absolutely beautiful.

Joanna said...

Sniff! That was purty.

forgetfulone said...

What a beautiful post, an ode to a beautiful girl.

Andrea said...

WOW! That gave me chills. Beautifully written -- and those pictures are gorgeous!!

Brenda said...

Beautiful words for a beautiful daughter. Wow!

I love the close-ups, love em!

Lindsey said...

Sweet...she's beautiful!

Dad said...

AND, I love her too. And that other one and Oh by the way, Happy Birthday Alexis and Lil' Billy you are the greatest

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

They do grow up to be such amazing young adults, don't they?

dani said...

a beautiful young woman... and that smile will take her far, kellan:)
love,
dani

Blessed Mama said...

Welcome home!!!
Why can't we stop time??
I told my 4 year old that I was going to put a brick on his head to slow his growing up down. Without missing a beat he said,"but mommy, it might fall off and hurt my toes"
Kids are so so precious.

utmomof5 said...

Beautiful words!!! You have very lucky children!! Yhey do grow up way to fast!!

JCK said...

Oh, Kellan. This caught my breath. You are such a wonderful mom.

Amanda said...

She is simply beautiful. Good job Mum!

Becky said...

She's a beautiful young woman, Kellan, and I'm sure with all the wonderful parenting she's had, she's going to do y'all proud when she flys the nest.

Beth (A Mom's Life) said...

Wonderful post Kellan! And she has such a gorgeous smile!

Tara said...

I was just thinking how soon this moment will come at our house the other day... how fast they grow!

duchess said...

What a sweet post.
It's tough when they get ready to fly away, isn't it?
What a beautiful young lady.

Jen said...

What a nice post for her! You have taught her well, and I'm sure she is ready to go out into the world, and with that big smile it will embrace her! Speaking of which, she has gorgeous teeth - did she wear braces?

Christine said...

My oldest girl is 6- I like that age- I want her to stay 6. Your daugher is beautiful!

Dawn said...

The words in this post will probably stay with me all day...it was beautiful. My own daughter is growing up so fast. The photos are so lovely as well.

Kaci said...

Awhhh that was beautiful!

moma grits said...

okay I am all emotional now LOL that was too sweet. Alexis is 5 and will start school this year and my mom always tells me tolet her sit on your lap because tomorrow she may not want to.etc.. etc.. etc... reading this was just a slap in the face reminder for me.

Courtney said...

Kellan,

You are going to make me cry! This is such a sweet post and Courtney should feel honored you would write this for her.

Kel said...

How sweet! It's amazing how one day they are our baby and then somewhere along the way they grow up. I know they will always be our babies, but they are no longer babies but mature little versions of ourselves. Its an uplifting and sad experience all in one!

Beautiful post!
~K

Karen said...

I panic thinking about my girls growing up!

Queen of My Domain said...

What a sweet post. I know we are all facing that same thing with our children.

Marmarbug said...

she is beautiful. It is so hard to watch them grow up. If only I could freeze time...

Sandra Carvalho said...

Wow!...What a gorgeous post Kellan...It really touched me...I know what you mean...It's so hard to let our kids grow...But we have to,right?...
Loved it.
xoxo

sting said...

that is such a sweet post :-) I'm sure she would grow up to be a wonderful woman...

Amanda said...

That was so sweet!

Tanja said...

Kellan-you're making me tear up! That was beautiful!!

Helen E.M. Wright said...

Gorgeous!!!!! It makes you happy and sad all at once, doesn't it?!?!?!

Amanda said...

that was super sweet!!!!

Monika said...

Kellan, stories like this one are the reason I want to visit you every day! Thank you!

the dragonfly said...

Beautiful! Makes me ache, thinking of my little boy growing up...

Chris said...

She is still my angel baby and I don't want to think of anything else:)

bren j. said...

I hope you put that last picture in a frame - it's perfect!

THopgood said...

Beautiful post...beautiful eyes...beautiful smile....beautiful daughter! WOW!

joan said...

What a wonderful post Kellan. It's one of your best. I also love the photos, she is gorgeous!!

Monogram Queen said...

VERY well written and a very beautiful girl your Courtney!

Jaina said...

Love the coloring on the first picture! And what a touching post, I can only imagine that my parents had similar moments with me.

E said...

Doing the work we were meant to do...We gotta give em' the keys. It is harder than it looks isn't it? Lovely story Kellan

Kat said...

Courtney is gorgeous.
What a sweet blog :)
L,
Kat

Tabitha said...

Kellan ~ what a beauty full post ~ you have left me with tears in my eyes!!
love to youXXXXX

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

Wonderful writing and such a lovely girl. I know you have prepared her well.

suz said...

I LOVE THIS!!!!
Gorgeous.

The Fritz Facts said...

So wonderful. Thank you for this post. It made me look at Boo and realize how much she has changed this year.

tinabean1988 said...

Hi my name is Tina I'm visiting through my friend Bonnie's blog (The Zoo).
I love your blog it's so much fun & I Love this post I have a 16 year old Courtnie and this post just rings so true to me.
Thank you.

Karen MEG said...

Beautiful, Kellan, just beautiful!

katy said...

What a nice tribute to a great child. You always think of the most wonderful things to say about your children.

Denise said...

This lovely post certainly made me smile today. Your daughter is very beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Denise

justabeachkat said...

Wow! What a beautiful post about your beautiful daughter!

Hugs!
Kat

Are You Serious! said...

♡ What a sweet post! Loved it! :)

TUTU Monkey said...

That was so beautiful....big tear and a happy smile.....I know that day will be here before I know it....

TUTU Monkey said...

That was so beautiful....big tear and a happy smile.....I know that day will be here before I know it....

Sitemap