I know - I'm a mom (blah, blah, blah) and ... this is a Mommy Blog (blah, blah, blah) and ... some of you are probably screaming, "She's not seriously going to talk about SEX is she?"
I AM.
This is my blog and I'm not getting any younger and ... I WANT TO TALK ABOUT SEX!
(Mom and Dad - get on outta here - I'm fixin' to talk about SEX. Seriously - GO!).
I never write about such things as sex on my blog. I talk about my kids. I occasionally talk about my shoes. I talk about the cats and the dogs and the plants in my yard. I don't talk much about cooking or post recipes - cuz I iz not a good cook.
Today - I'm talking about SEX!
I'm all for SEX and have never had a problem talking openly about SEX.
Today - I'm talking about SEX!
When I married The Cowboy - we were twenty-two years old.
He was very cute!
We had SEX all the time.
We did!
This was back when I was also cute and tiny and sexy and ...
Drove a pretty, white, Firebird with T-tops, leather interior and a rockin' CD player (this was when CD players just came out in cars).
I'd drive around town in my beautiful sports car, wearing short shorts, tank-tops with no bra and have the radio blasting my favorite Michael Bolton, Soul Provider CD (shut-up Jen - he WAS cool back then).
When I'd get home ...
I'd search out The Cowboy ...
Whisper sexy nothings into his ear ...
Rub up against him ...
And, we'd ...
Fall down anywhere we wanted in our empty house ...
Or search out some exotic or risky location ...
And we'd ...
Have ...
SEX!
It's really all we ever thought about back then.
It's really all we ever needed to do to have FUN!
Now ...
I'm a mom (blah, blah, blah).
I have four children and the poochy tummy and stretch-marks to show for birthing those four children. I've been driving a van for seventeen - SEVENTEEN - years! I am lucky to find a bra that still has the under wire intact and ... I don't even want to talk about the underwear.
And ... what do we do for fun now?
Well, let me just put it this way ...
If I ever fall down on the floor in my empty house - I'm usually looking to retrieve lost Legos or Barbie shoes from underneath the TV cabinet or scraping gum off the tile floor with a butter knife.
And ... the only thing the word exotic applies to anymore is the animal print rugs we have on our family room floor and risky only applies when The Cowboy and I attempt to actually try to have sex when the kids are awake.
There is nothing - NOTHING - I have needed lately, more than ... TO FEEL YOUNG AGAIN.
You know?
So ...
The other night ...
I brushed my hair.
I brushed my teeth.
I slathered on some Obsession body lotion all over my not-so-firm-and-stretch-marked body and ...
I crawled into bed next to my snoring cowboy and I woke him up at 1:30 in the morning.
And ...
The Cowboy and I ...
HAD SEX!!!
*Okay - hold that thought. I have to go to the dentist. I'll be right back*
*Tick-tock*
*Tick-tock*
*Ticktock*
*Ticktock*
*Ticktock*
*Ticktock*
*Ticktock*
Okay, I'm back - sorry about that.
YES!
WE HAD SEX!
What was so amazing was ....
Well ...
Aside from the fact that we actually had SEX ...
Was that ....
IT WAS FREAKIN' FANTASTIC!
It was that kind of sex we had when we were younger.
It was that kind of sex we had when we were in the earliest years of our marriage (BC -before children).
It was that kind of sex where you talk dirty (if that's your thing - it's our thing - there was dirty talking).
It was that kind of sex where there were lots of good, long, lust-filled, lustful, lustalicious ... kisses. YUM!
It was the kind of sex that young girls that drive cool TransAms have with really cute cowboys!
It has been a while since we have had this kind of SEX.
Too long.
Way too long.
LONGER THAN SHOULD BE LEGAL!
I don't know about you but ... kids sure put a cramp - a seventeen year cramp - in my SEX life.
I've tried to keep the spark alive (well except for that one five year stretch in there where I couldn't give a crap about anything other than sleep).
I've tried to shake things up from time to time to keep things interesting.
I've tried to put barricades against the door to our bedroom to keep those little monsters from storming in ...
It's not been easy *sigh*.
The Cowboy won't mind that I told you.
He's all about people thinking he's having sex.
He's all about actually ... having sex.
When we were through the other night, The Cowboy rolled over, sighed deeply and said, "That was just like when we were younger."
I passionately agreed and then said ...
"Yes ... it was," *breath breath* "just don't turn the lights on. I look like chit."
And ... I did.
But, that was only after.
During ...
I was beautiful and firm and sexy and ... 22 again!
On the upside ... The only thing that worries me is ... there's a really good possibility that this was all ... a dream.
-
33 comments:
AWESOME!!!!!
We've been having lots of sex lately too.
When I say we, I mean my husband and myself. I've never actually met you:) But dang you could stop a white trans am back in the day:)
My husband wants me subtly weave into my writings about all the sex we have, you know with charts and graphs and crude drawings and such.
So happy for us and our awesome sex lives.
My husbands been deployed for too long to remember great sex. But we'll be back together again soon and I assure the sex will be incredible for a while since it's been over a year! I'm so glad that you didn't post this six months ago cause my comment might have been "must be nice" lol!
So there's hope for me? Because these days I'd rather sleep.
But yay for you!
YAyyyyyyyyyyyy for sex!!! :)
I seriously could have wrote this...not doing to hot in the bedroom these days. Damn work, damn child, damn husband who'd rather run then have sex. Sighhhh.
Michael Bolton was NEVER cool, but you were HOT! I loved this post! So funny! I have a funny sex story post, but I can't put it on my blog since my parents and MIL read it. If you email me I'll send it to you.
Risking everyone thinking I'm a total jackass for bragging but I'm gonna say it anyway.
Mr. Hallisicle and I have been together for 23 years - met when I was 16 and have been married for 18 years.
We have sex constantly. Seriously. Teenagers or not. We just can't keep our hands off each other.
And I love it. And know that I'm lucky.
And it's ALWAYS good. I swear.
It was yesterday and will be again today.
Yep, I'm a happy Hallisicle.
Go here and look at him...can you blame me for wanting him ALL THE TIME???? :)
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/2009/05/at-1045-this-morning.html
Hallie :)
Best. post. ever.
Could you be any cooler for writing about this?! Those dang kids putting a cramp in your sex life. Sheesh :)
There is nothing like a trounce in the sack like you are a newlywed again :)
You and the Cowboy...such a cute couple! And good for you, for writing about this.
Kellan, I love you! Good for you for writing about this...you are hilarious though. I love the "don't turn the lights on" line...heehee
Yay for you!!
I'm glad somebody is and for your sake, I hope it wasn't a dream.
That was a very funny and energetic post! So very cute...and, um...SEXY!!! I'm always young, firm and sexy with the lights off too! Whoo-hooo!
OMG - I'm sitting here laughing outloud. Seriously, the whole thing about it being 'oh so great blah blah' and then'it might be a dream' you had me rolling!
Glad your having a great time with your sexy cowboy, we all need that in our lives! :)
~K
Good for you!! Isn't it great to be reconnected....I know the feeling now adays too......
You still got it going on girl!
I sure hope that wasn't a dream. Of course, I guess a dream like that wouldn't be too bad either. That way I could have my s-e-x and catch my winks at the same time!
You just took that bull by his horns, didn't you? You go girlfriend!
First of all *catcalls*, you were smoking hot! Loving the hair girl, big is beautiful! (your hair, I mean you hair is big, the rest of you was rock hard!)
And I miss that kind of sex too...life gets in the way. Good to know we can recapture it. At least in our dreams anyway ;)
Oh wow. This is funny...and fantastic. GOOD for you guys!!!
WOW is right!!! Fabulous post, Kellan! Damn, I hope it wasn't a dream....and you guys do go SO good together! Then AND now!
Congratulations, AND it even gets better as you get OLDER ! !
You're even more beautiful today than you were then, and he's just as handsome as he was then, and I know it wasn't only a dream! We "older folks" can have hot sex, too. We just dont do it as often.
Well, we both work out of our house, so....let's just say we're home 'a lot'. lol.
You sure were a sexy chick in that pic!
OMG! That made me giggle - A LOT. I am in the first 4 years of what I fear is the start of a 17-year-cramp, and am ELATED to hear that my early 20s may come-a-knockin' before I die. The only dirty talk going on around here involves Huggies and spit-up.
yayy..that was wonderful :)
I loved this post! Please, oh PLEASE say it wasn't just a dream?? There's got to be hope out there for the rest of us "moms"...ugh.
Okay, you had me...or did you? Was it really a dream? And I might add you were HOT standing next to the sports car. I can see why your hubby dropped his pants at a moment's notice! Ha. Glad to hear you guys are still passionate about each other. I must say, I laughed royally when you said the only thing you drop to the floor about is to find Legos or lost Barbies! Isn't that the REAL reality of life? Loved it.
Hey, if it was a dream, don't tell us, because we want to believe that it was over the top, passionate sex! WOO HOO!!!
I miss that young sex. Way to go, Kellan! Fingers crossed that it wasn't a dream. And wow those pictures!
okay- it's been awhile and THIS is the second post I read?!?? Love it. :)
First of all- I think I had that exact jumper- and my car at 18 was shiny new teal green camaro with t-tops and louvers but boy, did you nail this one. Ha, ha. You nailed it.
I woke John up just last week- he's gotten kind of pouty what with my moving and redoing our house exhaustion and it was wild.
I sure HOPE it wasn't a dream. :)
YOWZA!! You were a bombshell, Kellan! Still are...a certain picture you posted last summer comes to mind (you know the one...hee hee!).
Good for you for gettin' it on and feeling young again!!
Look at you in those pictures!!!
BOOM CHICKA BOW BOW!
WAY to go Kellan!
I was one hot mamma back in the day too. Frig. Damn kids. lol
Great post!
Best. Post. EVER!
Carol
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